Funny Business
- Revenge of the Gangsta Nerds
- It's Beginning To Look A Lot More Riskless
- Topless Business Is Taking Off
- Gambling Drunk, Texting to Live And America's On Sale - Your Emails
- The Lloyd's Prayer, Leggo My Eggo, Plate Hate & Your Emails
- Help Wanted—Please Run $4 Billion University
- Madoff—The Holiday Drink
- Drugs, Booze and Vegas
- Happy World Toilet Day
- Coffee, Tea or My Ad?
- U.S. Stocks Fall on Dubai Worries
- Black Friday at Best Buy
- Strategists on Dubai: Avoid 'Rash Moves' Now
- Longer Lines, Fuller Carts This Black Friday
- Dubai Stock Market Fear Has 'Legs': Dennis Gartman
- Obama's Emission Reduction Pledge Paints Future for Autos
- Is Super Bowl Halftime Act Too Old?
- Surprising Options Trades in TiVo Shares
- EA Sports Hopes to Pump Up Sales Through Pop-Up Locations
- Dubai's Debt Woes Signal New Era for Creditors
- US Treasury Wants Banks to Do More to Ease Mortgages
- Fed Audit Would Hurt Economic Prospects: Bernanke
- Next Week: Cash In Now Or Wait For A Santa Rally?
- Dubai Stock Selloff May Bring Buying Opportunity
- Black Friday Sales Rise by 0.5%: ShopperTrak
- Longer Lines, Fuller Carts This Black Friday
- Big US Banks May Be Forced to Raise Capital: Bove
- Bank of America Amends Pay for Senior Executives
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Correspondent
This week we could've talked about bankruptcies, California's never-ending money problems, or the ex-con arrested for filing IRS claims saying he was owed TRILLIONS, but there's too much other good stuff. So, here are our nominees and winner. Vote for your own at the bottom.
THAT SETTLES IT?
The Securities and Exchange Commission settles (settles!) with Bernie Madoff. Madoff has already pleaded guilty to fraud charges in criminal court and will likely go away for life. The SEC's punishment? Barring him from the securities industry. Thanks for closing the barn door...now.
PETA PET-ASTROPHE!
The President really would hurt a fly, dispatching one to fly heaven this week in an interview with CNBC. But PETA may have done more harm to animal rights than Barack Obama's fly trap by calling him out on it. It's a fly, people.
DEAD MOM WALKING
A Brooklyn man went "Norman Bates" on us, allegedly dressing up as his dead mother for the last few years to go to the bank to cash more than $100k in her retirement checks. When Thomas Prusik-Parkin was arrested, he reportedly told authorities, "I am my mother."
ASK...JEEZ
The estranged wife of Ask Jeeves co-founder David Warthen reportedly tells the IRS she can't pay her tax bill because hubby's investment portfolio is worth less. Cristina Warthen, a Stanford law grad, owes the tax man more than $300,000 on earnings she made while as an escort named "Brazil". The case gives new meaning to "back taxes".
STANFORD CARDINAL...SIN
Speaking of Stanford (the university), a bigger Stanford earns a huge shout-out this morning. Sir Allen Stanford is indicted--surprise!--for allegedly bilking investors out of billions.
AND THE WINNER IS..SCRUSHY LOSES HIS TUSHY Unlike Allen Stanford, who has yet to be formally charged, a judge this week ordered former HealthSouth CEO Richard Scrushy to pay nearly $3 billion to shareholders in an accounting scandal that nearly brought down the company. Scrushy had earlier been found not guilty on criminal charges, but the civil court saw things differently. Collecting may be tough, as the once-mighty Alabamian is in prison on an unrelated bribery conviction.
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