Bullish On Books

Published: Wednesday, 7 Oct 2009 | 12:30 PM ET

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I get it, I really do.

You don’t have the time, energy or staff to pay attention to everything all the time.

Our collective attention span is not what it used to be (remember the days before IM’ing, texting and emails.)

We’re all doing more – but paying less attention. And it’s costing you dearly.

Today’s guest blog is from Connie Dieken author ‘Talk Less, Say More’ with three tips on “How to Influence the World – One Short Attention Span at a Time.”

‘How to Influence the World – One Short Attention Span at a Time’ by Connie Dieken.

Today, you’ll leave a voicemail that will be zapped mid-sentence. You’ll send an e-mail that’s unceremoniously dismissed. As you try to make a point, someone will rudely interrupt. You’ll attend a meeting where no one will listen to the presenter. And the guy in the next cubicle will shoot you an e-mail instead of talking to you face-to-face.

It’s just another day in the life of a 21st century communicator.

Talk Less Say More

We’re living in a distracted, impatient, attention-deficit world. As the demands on our time and attention explode, a 21st century bad habit has emerged: chronic impatience. It’s as if we each have a channel-changing remote control embedded in our restless, fidgety brains. Is someone taking too long to get to the point? Zap. Are you boring me? Click.

Intrigued by this new phenomenon, I surveyed 400 business leaders who, thankfully, paid attention to my request and responded by completing the study. The results were nearly unanimous: 99% of businesspeople agree that attention spans are shorter today than 3 years ago and this is having a damaging effect on communication skills. Multi-tasking (such as checking e-mail or text messaging instead of listening) was selected by 93% of survey respondents as the leading cause of today's declining skills.

This confirms what you've been experiencing - both in the workplace and in your personal life. People are not paying attention as you speak– they’re quick to pull the trigger and tune you out.

Don’t want to be ignored? Fortunately, there's a solution. It takes just 3 habits to conquer this 21st century communication challenge: Connect, Convey, Convince.® I use these habits to elicit responses and I’d like to share them with you. My book, Talk Less, Say More, is loaded with tips and techniques to apply them to your world, but here are the basics:

Habit 1: Connect

Definition: Capture people’s attention by giving them what they want and value so they'll tune in

Biggest mistake: Rambling

According to 71% of survey respondents, rambling or taking too long to get to the point is the major reason why people fail to connect with others.

Connecting in the 21st century is a whole new game - it’s changed profoundly in today’s busy world. That’s because there’s been a monumental power shift in communication. The listener now holds the power. In their quest for stimulation and speed, people are easily lured away by more appealing distractions like e-mails, text messages, tweets, cell phone calls, or web surfing.

Clearly, there’s a new urgency for you to get to your point quickly and banish long-windedness. But it’s not as simple as paring down the number of words that you use. You have to stay in their moment and frontload your message with what the listener wants and values most. What’s relevant to them, not just to you? Connect in this manner and you’ll engage and capture their attention. You won’t lose them at hello.

Blame the lure of instant gratification. We've become conditioned to getting what we want, when we want it. Think about it: there's speed dating, spray tans, instant tooth whitening, quick weight loss surgery - the list goes on. In our shortcut society, we don't need to wait patiently for the results we want. This desire for instant gratification is naturally spreading to our communication habits, which spells the end of yada yada yada.

Don't drive people to distraction by rambling. Connect by tapping into what the receiver wants and values. They’ll reward you by tuning out the distractions and tuning in to YOU.

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