Funny Business

Published: Thursday, 29 Oct 2009 | 3:41 PM ET

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Perhaps nothing has done as much to draw attention to Breast Cancer Awareness Month as seeing NFL players wear pink on Sundays, as they honor mothers or wives or other women touched by the disease.　

But did you know that October is also the month where the entire country needs to think about repairing its toilets?　

This week, someone I know called the Census Bureau (long story, this person wants to make sure she won't be arrested for not filling out the census questionnaire even though it says "Your response is required by law"—she was told not to worry, federal agents will not appear at her door). Anyhow, while on hold with the agency, a recorded message came on which said, "October is National Repair Your Toilet Month" and described how malfunctioning toilets waste water.　

So, if you wear pink for Breast Cancer, what color ribbon do you wear for Toilet Month? I think we both know the answer to that.

So I figure there's no better time to reveal the latest Funny Business Product of the Week: The Wow Toilet, which sells a see-through toilet tank for $90 that allows you to insert decorative posters.

The Web Site video asks, "Have you ever wondered why toilets have to be so boring?" Well, no, not really. However, this is where I'm wrong, wrong, wrong! This is America, where ANYTHING can be turned into a customized accessory, consumers just need to be convinced that it's cool. Also, anything can be turned into a marketing opportunity. So Wow Toilets sell both a home edition and a commercial edition, where hotels or restaurants or gas stations can insert ads. "No more wasted space! Get more attention with one of the best guerilla marketing tools!" Wasted space, get it? Heh heh. Wow Toilet claims there are 1.2 billion toilets in the United States. That's four toilets for every man, woman, and child, "all ready to become billboards."　

But let me point out the obvious. If you're a woman, you're not really a captive audience. How do I say this? Women won't be seeing your ads. They're facing the wrong way. Men might see the ads, but they lift the lid. So...coming soon! Wow will introduce the transparent toilet lid, so that nothing gets between the customer and the message. Well, almost nothing.

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