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There Must Be A Pony In Here Somewhere


Current DateTime: 04:01:32 10 Feb 2012
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CONTRIBUTORS


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  • Cindy Perman

      News Editor at CNBC.com and the author of The Pony Blog (ponyblog.cnbc.com). She has also written a book, “New York Curiosities,” and does stand-up comedy.

  • Jane Wells

      CNBC business news reporter, based in Los Angeles, covering the defense and technology industries. She writes the CNBC.com blog Funny Business.

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ABOUT THIS BLOG

The news can get a little heavy sometimes, with debt crises, vicious markets and crappy earnings reports. So, we dispatched our crack reporters, Cindy Perman and Jane Wells, to find some levity amid all this seriousness. May we offer you a Keynesian cocktail with a side of bacon?

Why a Pony? To be clear, there were no ponies harmed in the making of this blog. The blog’s name, “There Must Be a Pony In Here Somewhere,” comes from an old joke, a favorite of Ronald Reagan’s, that essentially means, with a pile of you-know-what this big, there MUST be a pony—a bright side—in here somewhere!

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CEOs Are Hilarious!

Published: Friday, 6 Nov 2009 | 11:57 AM ET
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By: Cindy Perman
CNBC.com Staff Writer

When you think of CEOs, the first thing that jumps to mind isn’t funny.

David Moore
Photo: cnbc.com
Seriously, folks. CEOs are hilarious. (David Moore, the creator and host of "Funny Business.")

But David Moore, a private-equity investor/entrepreneur/stand-up comic, says that’s a common misperception.

“People think CEOs are boring and all they care about is money,” said Moore, the former CEO of Web-site management firm Register.com. In fact, he says, "The majority of leaders — be it political, corporate or whatever — are funny,” he said.

So, he rounded up a trio of his fellow fearless leaders and put on a night of CEO comedy called “Funny Business” at Caroline’s comedy club in New York last night.

There were real-estate jokes, Bernie Madoff jokes — let's face it, this year gave them a lot to work with!

“You know how bad the economy is?” Moore asked in his opening. “I saw a guy the other day with a sign that said, ‘Will diversify your portfolio for food.’”

In addition to making business jokes, he also pokes fun at his Jewish heritage.

“So, Bernie Madoff is in jail,” he said. “Prosecutors asked for 150 years [sentence] — and the judge slapped him with the full 150,” Moore said. “Not only is he a slimeball, but he’s the first Jew to pay full price!”

Source: cnbc.com
Stew Leonard talks about running a family business and living with all women. "The shoes in my house!" he quips.

Stew Leonard, Jr., who runs the Connecticut grocery chain Stew Leonard’s, also tried his hand at stand-up. If you live in the New York area, you’ve probably heard one of his radio commercials about going to a turkey farm, whistling, and having the turkeys go crazy. This is his second show with Moore.

Leonard told stories about funny business meetings and customer experiences as well as what it’s like to run a family business.

“I have four daughters. So, I live with five women — Even my dog is female,” Leonard explained. “With all the hormones changing minute by minute, there’s always somebody crying,” he said. “And it’s always me!”

Leonard said he likes using humor in his business.

"I think what humor does — it makes you real. It demystifies you and makes you a real person,” he said.

He’s also tried to channel his inner Jon Stewart to reach the under-25 crowd.

Steve Siegel, chairman of global brokerage at real-estate firm CB Richard Ellis [CBG  Loading...      ()   ], joked about how tough it is to be in his business right now.

“With the real-estate market the way it is, I could fill the room with just the people I owe money to!” he quipped.

(To see highlights from "Funny Business," click on the video at left.)

Jonathan Tisch, CEO of Loews Hotels [L  Loading...      ()   ] and co-owner of the New York Giants, told a story about a lunch in Washington with Treasury Secretary Geithner.

Tisch’s wife made it to Vanity Fair’s best-dressed list. Apparently, Geithner said, “John, we’ve got $100 billion of TARP money left. Do you need that to keep Lizzy on the list next year?!”

Then, a joke about the global economy:

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“China!”

Admittedly, not everyone in the audience got the joke.

Some professional comedians, including Colin Quinn, Mike Vecchione and James Smith, stopped by to help keep the laughs going between CEOs. And, the CEOs all acknowledged how hard stand-up comedy is.

“I probably spent an unbalanced amount of time preparing for this,” said Leonard, who admits he consulted Eric Kornfeld, a writer for Rosie O'Donnell, for advice. “I’ll bet I spent more time on this than for a speech to 1,000 people!”

Tisch ended the night with a CEO’s version of Frank Sinatra’s “It Was a Very Good Year.”

“When I was 53 … it was a very good year,” Tisch began. “For hotel chains and the travel industry ... The money flowed free ... It was before AIG.” [AIG  Loading...      ()   ]

“When I was 54 … it was a very good year ... for CEOs with caviar dreams … we all took stretch limousines ... stayed in five-star hotels ... and then it all went to hell.”

"When I was 55 ... it was a very bad year ... for investment banks ... Lehman Brothers fell first ... and then the whole bubble burst ... no more limos sat idle ... perks went out of style ..."

“Now, I’m almost 56. And it’s been another bad year. The new guy in charge wants to cut our pay … and cut our bonuses, too ... what’s a mogul to do?"

He ended, not with optimism or pessimism, but simply: “CEOs all take heart ... soon, next year's gonna start."

Thank you! You've been a great audience!

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