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The Supremes—Let's Pick Our Own Justices

We vote for President—the executive branch. We vote for Congress—the legislative branch. Why can't we vote for the Supreme Court—the judicial branch?

I'm not really pushing for this, but in the funny business of politics, it is an interesting question. If we could place our own "nominees" for the high court on a ballot, whom would you choose to fill the seat being vacated by John Paul Stevens?

I asked around for some "outside the box" suggestions. Strangely, most of the names I got back were fictional characters (hey, I love Gandalf as much as the next guy, but really...).

I kept some of the fictional characters and threw in other real-life suggestions. I'm assuming none of these would-be Supremes ever went to law school. Maybe that's a good thing.

And the nominees are:

Capt. Chesley Sullenberger—the former US Airways pilot. The guy obviously has good judgment. No one died when he crash landed a plane in the Hudson, ok? Plus, he looks the part. Can't you see him in the long black robe?

Peggy Lindsey—the grandmother of Oakland A's pitcher Dallas Braden. She was so thrilled about his perfect game against Tampa Bay she said, "Stick it, A-Rod", because her grandson and the Yankees slugger have been having a war of words lately. "'Stick it, A-Rod is a great dissenting opinion," wrote the Twitter follower who suggested her name.

Chloe O'Brian—the CTU brainiac on Fox's "24" . Smart, fast, and no-nonsense, the character played by Mary Lynn Rajskub is right when everyone else is wrong. I would vote for her just to see the look on her face after being asked some ridiculous question during Senate confirmation hearings.

Courtney Love—"Has a lot of experience inside a courtroom," wrote the person who nominated her.

Dr. Gregory House—another fictional character. Sure, some people wanted Dr. Walter Bishop from "Fringe" or Zoey from "Nurse Jackie", but I chose Hugh Laurie's House because, as one friend said, "Now, there is a guy who could cut through the relish." Plus, if anyone on the court fell suddenly ill with a mysterious disease, bingo.

Simon Cowell—the American Idol judge. I'm not sure he's even an American citizen yet, but I think we can make an exception. "I want to see lawyers cry," wrote the person who nominated Mr. Mean.

Harry Anderson—who played Judge Harry T. Stone on "Night Court". For one thing, he's available. For another, as one person wrote, "He may have more bench time than the current nominee."

Betty White
Getty Images
Betty White

Betty White—she's whip smart, funny, looks kinda like Sandra Day O'Connor, scored big in a Super Bowl ad, and hosted NBC's Saturday Night Live. (Note: Both NBC and CNBC are owned by parent company General Electric.)

I think she could handle everything from immigration law to late term abortions to eminent domain and still get away with telling raunchy jokes.

So what if she's never been a judge?

The President's choice, Elena Kagan, has never been a judge either (nor did she ever kick butt on "Password").

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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