Everything's out of whack. The stock market is up, but so is unemployment. Profits are rising, yet the housing market won't recover.
In that vein, here are a few nonsensical gift and food ideas for the holidays.
First, the TSA pin-up calendar, the perfect gift during this time of groping and griping.
Turn those backscatter scans into exactly what they're supposed to be: sexy!
Hey, Miss March, nice lungs!
What to wrap your gift in? Tweetwrap! Boosted by Samsung is letting people download and print wrapping paper covered in Tweets. I typed in my own twitter username, and suddenly the paper was covered with my own vapid thoughts in 140 characters. A warning: Seeing your tweets printed out on wrapping paper will only emphasize how dumb and self-absorbed you are.
Exhausted by the holiday? "Coffee is so 2009", says the promotion for "Perky Jerky" — energy boosting beef jerky. The company claims the product was the result of an accident during a boozy ski trip when an energy drink spilled into an open bag of peppered beef jerky. The website is apparently marketing tired professionals, as its banner blares, "GET YOUR BOSS TO PAY FOR IT".
Jacked up jerky may be the best food idea yet.
Or maybe this is.
I present to you the Comfort Food of 2010: The Pizza Donut.
"Pizza Donut is garlic bread pizza in the shape of a doughnut," says Richard Davis, President and CEO of Kosher International, which is selling the product to street vendors, claiming these donuts actually lower cholesterol.
I'll have to take his word on that. I mean, it's a pizza...donut...
"We use bagel dough and bake it, not boiling like a bagel," Davis says. He adds that vendors can sell the product for "about a buck, like a NYC Kosher Hot Dog." The profit margin on that? Sixty-six percent! That's a lot of dough.
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