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The Most Sordid Insider Trading Scandal Ever

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AP
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Sometimes it just feels like God is conspiring with nature to arrange the events of the world in such a way to make Bess Levin the perfect chronicler of our times.

Here, for instance, is the latest insider trading case (as described by Bess):

Remember Richard Hansen? His story is a bit complicated but essentially: there was a married woman named Donna Murdoch who was a bit hard up for money (she and her husband owed $1.45 million on a subprime home mortgage) and decided the way to tackle her debt was to make some money trading on material non-public information. Getting the tips was easy enough—she met an Ernst and Young partner named James Gansman who advised companies doing mergers and was more than happy to give them to her. Only problem was, Murdoch didn’t have the cash to trade on Gansman’s inside info, so she had to get back on AshleyMadison and find another guy who could front the money. That guy was the 71 year-old Hansen, who gave her a job at Keystone Equities Group (where he was chairman), plus some of his penis on the side.

Both Murdoch and Hansen traded on Gansman’s tips (neither guy knew about the other, by the by) and now, Hansen, who netted a mere $60,000 from the scam, faces up to 16 months in prison after pleading guilty to conspiracy and securities fraud tied.

Remember: this is reality. This really, really happened. You aren't sleeping. This isn't Inception. Life really is like this sometimes.

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