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Wall Street is Back — Just Look at Their Faces

How do you know that 2010 was a good year for Wall Street? That male-dominated world can now afford facelifts to remove worry lines etched in when business dove and bonuses disappeared.

Adam Gault | Digital Vision | Getty Images

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says cosmetic procedures grew 2 percent among men last year, but facelifts jumped 14 percent, and liposuction rose 7 percent.

More than a million procedures were performed on American males, compared to about 12 million for females.

But unlike women, men are more willing to go under the knife versus the minimally invasive stuff. Why? Because male baby boomers are realizing they can't stop the clock. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

“Minimally-invasive procedures such as Botox and soft tissue fillers work to a point," says ASPS President Dr. Phillip Haeck. "However, as you age and gravity takes over, surgical procedures that lift the skin are necessary in order to show significant improvement.”

If only the Fed could give the economy a similar "Real Housewives of Orange County" makeover.

Among the fastest growing procedures for guys: ear surgeries are up 11 percent, and the removal of man boobs has risen six percent. However, by sheer volume, Botox still rules with 337,000 procedures on men last year.

But it's not just high rollers bankrolling a man-sized nip/tuck. "The typical male cosmetic surgery patient that I see is an average guy who wants to look as good as he feels," says Dr. Stephen Baker, in Washington DC. “Most of my patients are ‘men’s men,’ the kind of guy you might not think would have plastic surgery.”

Oh, like Bruce Jenner?

Still, this stuff ain't cheap. I can't help but think that with the return of bonuses, traders and bankers are "freshening up the product" because they may be single again, assuming their trophy wives bailed when they had to sell the summer home on Nantucket after Lehman went under.

Now THAT would make a good reality show.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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