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The Kissing Machine — The Funny Business Product of the Week

Remember when smart young visionaries tried to build a better mousetrap? Design a rocket to the Moon? Find a cure for polio?

Boring.

These days, the world's best minds are busy developing apps like "Fart Fone".

Blend Images | Getty Images

Then there's the Japanese engineering student working on a device for your PC which could eventually allow you to french kiss someone remotely.

As if all the "connectedness" of the web isn't already isolating us and making things weird.

In the demonstration video, Nobuhiro Takahashi, a student at the University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo, shows off his invention, "which can effectively transmit the feeling of a kiss."

"If you take one device in your mouth and turn it with your tongue, the other device turns in the same way," Takahashi explains. An individual's particular kissing "style" can be recorded and replayed. Currently the device only works on a single PC, defeating the entire premise.

It appears ol' Nobuhiro hasn't had a lot of practice kissing, if you get my meaning, but he does have a sharp commercial mind! He says, "If you have a popular entertainer use this device and record it, that could be hugely popular if you offer it to fans."

So, dear readers, which celebrity would you like to remotely kiss by putting a dental saliva-sucking straw thingy in your mouth? If you are saying, "Well, Jane, to tell you the truth..." STOP TALKING. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Ok, I lied. I want to know.

Takahashi would like to enhance the product by making it more kiss-like, adding taste, breathing patterns, and "moistness of the tongue".

Now I really have heard enough.

And yet...

There could be big money here. If you can get to first base remotely, think of the possibilities.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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