It may be the perfect holiday gift for a red-blooded heterosexual American male--Pam Anderson.
Good luck with that.
Here's the next best thing...her house. That IS available.
"I'm traveling so much these days and am enjoying a lot more time in my native Canada with my family," writes the bombshell star of "Baywatch" on VRBO.com, a vacation rental site. "I'm finally willing to share my masterpiece...it's a magical spot."
Anderson is renting out her empty Malibu Colony home for $20,000 a week, or $75,000 a month. The house has three bedrooms, including hers (with her bed in it), plus 2.5 baths, pool, rooftop deck, sauna, views to die for, and round the clock security in a gated community.
"This is your chance to live in a dreamy Malibu beach house designed and decorated by the owner herself, Pamela Anderson, who’s homes have been featured in many of the top architectural publications," says the pitch on the VRBO website. "Enjoy the luxurious and laid-back lifestyle known to the local celebrities and business moguls that call the Malibu Colony home. As the saying goes, location, location, location!"
We learn that her kitchen "is designed for cooking!" However, it's not clear if Anderson herself has ever cooked anything. The home comes with housekeeping services, plus "a highly recommended vegetarian chef option." This is California.
But who's renting it for the kitchen??!! Let's get to the good part.
"Climb the solid teak stairway from the center of the open room to the second level and the master bedroom," the pitch continues. "The large bedroom with white marble wood burning fireplace has a romantic, very Pammy, open-tub layout with a large sliding glass wall leading to a massive deck overlooking the pool/deck and tipi area below."
But wait, Pammy, there's more! "The glass-enclosed shower has a built in Finish sauna (with TV) for unbeatable relaxation and detox. The king sized Tempurpedic bed faces an amazing view of the mountains. Curved and polished burle wood closet doors open up with the slightest touch to reveal mirrored walls and an abundance of space for any size wardrobe (reminiscent of a boat)." Pets are allowed, as long as they're house trained. Anderson is a well-known PETA supporter.
Wait, the master bed has an amazing view of the mountains? Not the ocean.
Maybe that's one reason Anderson is openly putting her name on the rental, to make up for the lack of a beachfront ocean view. It's unusual for a celebrity to be so public about renting out a house, but maybe Anderson needs the money? Or maybe she's just being smart. For the same reason moguls often charter out their private jets when not in use, an empty mansion is a money drain, not a money maker. The Huffington Postreports, "Agents in Malibu suggest she is most likely keeping her options open, preferring not to sell her house in a depressed market and allowing for a possible return there as her base."
Finally, as if sleeping in Pam Anderson's bed isn't enough of an enticement to rent the place, there are unique extras. "Pam’s Canadian heritage shines through with this authentic Native-American wigwam guest accommodation!" I wonder if you can just rent the wigwam...
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email firstname.lastname@example.org