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Vermin Supreme for President?

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Anyone can run for President, as long as you were born here, you've lived in the country for 14 years, and you're at least 35 years old.

Anyone.

Even Vermin Supreme.

You may not know this, but Republicans aren't the only ones campaigning for President in New Hampshire this week. Democrats are, too, more than a half dozen of them, including a guy who wears a rubber boot on his head.

That guy is Vermin Supreme, described as a "satirist", "anarchist", and/or "performance artist". He's like Pat Paulsen with a big dose of Timothy Leary. This is Supreme's third time in the New Hampshire primary, his second as a Democrat. At a recent forum for lesser known candidates, he began by saying, "Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough."

Supreme hopes to fight our "moral and oral decay" by promising a free pony to every American if elected. "It will create lots and lots of jobs once we switch over to a pony based economy." He also wants to harness "the awesome power of zombies for energy sources" by dangling brains in front of zombies to lure them into turning turbines. That could certainly solve Atlanta’s problems! (A little “Walking Dead” humor there.)

The candidate calls himself a "friendly fascist", and he’s been popping up at campaign stops for Republicans like Ron Paul, where Supreme reportedly challenged the Texas Congressman to take on President Obama in a "panty-wrestling matchto decide it all." He was seen outside a Gingrich event, chanting, "Newt. Newt. Newt. Surrender."

Then there's what he's done to fellow Democrats.

Vermin Supreme ended his appearance at the previously mentioned candidates forum by sprinkling pixie dust on Democratic presidential candidate Randall Terry, the pro-lifer known for blocking entrances to abortion clinics. Supreme showered Terry with dust and shouted, "He's turning gay!" Rick Santorum, consider yourself warned. Oh wait, I see you two have already met. Supreme crashed a Santorum town hall a few days ago, entertaining the crowd until he was escorted out (about 4:40 into this video). He later reappears outside as Santorum arrives, baiting him in a Vader-like voice over the bullhorn, "Rick. Rick Santorum...I love you."

Wowza! This year's campaign is crazy! I can't believe how...insane, and...um...wait...

Did he say I get a pony?


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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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