The New Love Boat
Talk about funny business. I stumbled upon (don't ask) a dating website so niche as to challenge credulity. It's called SeaCaptainDate.com.
"Find Your First Mate" the site declares. "Sea Captain Date is the only place for Sea Captains to connect with men and women who share a love of the ocean." (Connect with men? Wouldn't think that would be a problem at sea.)
Watch the introductory video here, as "Caleb" talks about the challenge of meeting women when he's out on a boat all the time. "My mistress may be the sea, but the thing is, that's just an expression," he says. "There ain't really no sex involved."
He really said that, plus a little salty language.
Also in the video is Caleb's new love, Sarah Gordon, aka "MissTaco81". A young blonde, Gordon says she likes this particular dating site because it's not like the others where "the guys are all losers." Her advice to other women, "Why settle for a boy with a car, when you can have a man with a boat?"
And that’s not all…
There's a hilarious music video for the "Sea Captain Date Song." Lyrics include, "There's a place to go to find the lady of your dreams, sail into the sunset, where no one hears her screams."
Then there are the profiles of potential captains to date. Most look legitimate — though should you really admit up front that you have erectile dysfunction? One “captain” called PhilCollinsFan reveals, "My style of the week is sea captain goth...I am a high maintenance sea captain who likes day spas.."
OH, COME ON. THIS CAN'T BE REAL.
So I picked up the phone and gave Sea Captain Date a call. It's based in Santa Monica, and a young woman answered the phone. It sounded like she was outside, like, maybe on a boat. I introduced myself and asked if the site is real. "The website is real," she answered. "I can see the website is real," I replied. "Is this a real dating site? Do you really have captains seeking dates? Her answer, "Yes…we hope it will be like that." I gave her my number and sent some questions via email to learn more.
"Yes this is a real site," replied Robert Atlas. "We are asked this a surprising amount these days." He admits that several people have posted fake profiles, which he is busy weeding through. Atlas says they've had thousands of people apply, and he doesn't have the resources to filter out the fakes. "Many men with boats consider themselves 'Captains'. Likewise many woman consider themselves 'Captains',” he says. “Someplace in the middle is reality."
He claims 62 people applied for membership yesterday alone. "Now, of those, there are your jokers who put in wild entries." He says he's working on a new site called Captain-date.com to handle "this outcry of applications."
I asked if he's making any money off the site, and he answered that it's been hard. SeaCaptainDate.com has three levels of membership — the Nautilus, the Captain and the Admiral — though most users go for the Nautilus level because it's free.
However, "We have begun to sell a surprising amount of ballast brick door stops. This helps keep the servers going." Have there been any successful dates? "Many," Atlas replied. "The users have expressed satisfaction."
Finally, Atlas says he’s been approached about doing a reality TV show. "At this moment I am considering it, but will need to do more research on the subject."
Think "Deadliest Catch" meets "The Love Boat". I'm already hooked.
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email firstname.lastname@example.org