Talk about your niche markets.
There’s a growing business in prepping white collar criminals for prison, reports The Wall Street Journal.
Clients will learn from seasoned pros: The founders of at least two companies have been there, done that. Now they're making crime pay.
Wall Street Prison Consultants' Larry Levine, for example, is a former federal inmate who served 10 years.
Look on his web site for information on programs such as “Fedtime 101,” which is taught via phone or Skype, for the executive in a hurry.
“I know how to teach them … what really happens,” Levine is heard saying in a radio interview on the site. “The structure of federal prison systems … how to use the medical care, how to survive a prison riot — which is very popular.”
Patrick Boyce, founder of Federal Prison Alternatives, served time in a prison in Morgantown, W.V. According to information on the company's web site, he owned an investment firm in New York before being charged with conspiracy to commit securities, mail and wire fraud and sentenced to 27 months.
The sales pitch is straightforward: "Patrick learned the hard way — you don't have to!"
According to the Journal, those convicted for insider trading, securities fraud, money laundering and the like can learn to negotiate life behind bars, with such tips as to always say “excuse me” when you bump into someone and never butt into a conversation. Other tips: Don’t touch someone else’s laundry, don’t reach across someone’s plate, and don’t change the channel on the TV if someone else is watching it.
And, students will learn the special language of prison: For instance, you’ll know ahead of time to politely decline an invitation to a “blanket party,” which is a lot less fun than it sounds.
And, in this election year, Levine is offering a special: advice to prisoners’ family members on which candidates to vote for. As he explains, there are some "candidates that will be more likely to support prisoners’ rights, and who’s going to support our position for jobs, re-entry after they get out.”