Have the last few years left you looking like a cross-eyed Mary? Were your retirement plans bungled ... in the jungle?
Maybe the financial collapse has left you feeling like a dead duck, spitting out pieces of your broken luck. Oh, Aqualung.
Fortunately, Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson is on your side. (See correction below)
The classic British rock artist is out with a new album for new times called "Thick as a Brick 2, Whatever Happened to Gerald Bostock", which follows up on the story of the fictional young poet whowrote the lyrics to the original album 40 years ago. (40 YEARS!?)
One of the songs on the new album is called "Banker Bets, Banker Wins", and like all good Tull songs, it's angry. "Banker bets and banker wins," sings Ian Anderson, "Never missed yet, for all his sins."
And the banker's sins are aplenty: "Hedge funds, wraps and equities," goes the song, "Trusts and gilts, reserve currencies."
I never thought I'd see the day when Ian Anderson is singing about reserve currencies.
Maybe Lloyd Blankfein isn't quite Aqualung, eyeing little muppets with bad intent. Nor is it likely that Jamie Dimon is thick as a brick ("so come on, all you criminals!). But Anderson likens them and their ilk to "pigs a-troughing."
Still, as far as I can tell, Anderson has not exactly been made destitute by the banking crisis, and the youthful rage of Aqualung has been replaced by the stinging sarcasm of maturity. As for government "solutions" to rein in greedy bankers, here's what the band sings:
Draconian calls for regulation
are drowned in latte with Starbucks muffin.
Mortgage melt-down: non est mea culpa.
Threatened exit, stage left, laughing...
Banker bets and banker wins, never missed yet, for all his sins.
Banker bets, cheque's in the post: not worth the ink it's written in.
I also thought I'd never see the day when Jethro Tull is singing about Starbucks. Oh, Aqualung.
Correction: An earlier version of this post should have indicated this is an Ian Anderson solo project.
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email firstname.lastname@example.org