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Want a 24K Gold Vacuum? It Will Cost You Only $999,999

Only some of you will understand the following sentence.

Source: GoVacuum.com

A good vacuum cleaner is a girl's best friend.

You either appreciate a vacuum that works, gets rid of stubborn dirt, doesn't scar things up, doesn't small like an old bag of dust, and moves easily … or you don’t.

Oh man, just thinking about it makes me happy.

So imagine my delight as I discover my dream come true.The Go Vacuum GV62711 is a vacuum cleaner so awesome, it has its own hip hop song. "Yeah, Go Vacuum, number one, baby," croons the rapper, "you gotta see it to believe it."

What's so special about this vacuum cleaner? "High-performing 10 amp motor, 14" wide cleaning nozzle with wooden roller brush, anti-marring urethane wheels, lightweight at just under 16 pounds." Oh yeah, it's also plated in 24k gold ... and costs $999,999. Who is the target audience? "Those who simply can," says the Go Vacuum website. That's you, Kanye.

Go Vacuum says it's only making 100 of the million dollar cleaners — "Period." Well, that's a hundred more than I would have guessed they'd sell. The company says it will not add gold plating to any of the customizable vacuums until after an actual sale, a smart move. As for the price, "Why $999,999 and not $1,000,000? We thought it would be a good idea to offer it at an introductory sale price in an effort to launch the product."

The best part, of course, is the song. "One million dollars, it's gonna make you holler, forget the other vacuums, don't even bother." If you don’t like hip hop, there’s also a guitar strumming ditty on YouTube.

If you are insane enough to pay a million bucks for something you can get at Costco for a couple hundred bucks — minus the gold — Go Vacuum will throw in free shipping. Worldwide. “…Man, I wanna marry it. Lifetime guarantee, you never have to bury it..."

Now, if they could just come up with a magical closet organizer. That really would be worth its weight in gold.


Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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