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Jolting Developments in Diamonds, Phones and Coffee

Here are three funny businesses and a very funny but cruel video. All should jolt you awake.

A girl's BFF

Shawish Diamond Ring
Source: Shawish-jewelry.com
Shawish Diamond Ring

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, then this is her BFF. Here is a ring which will get her attention more quickly than an LAPD raid of Fred Willard's favorite theater. It's called "The World's First Diamond Ring".

Wait, haven't diamond rings been around forever? Not this kind. This ring, made by Geneva based Shawish Jewellers, is not a diamond ON a ring ... the diamond IS the ring. It kind of looks like those plastic rings I used to get out of a gumball machine, except this ring will take a lot of plastic to pay for.

It's expected to go for $70 million, and it weighs 150 carats — more than three times the weight of the Hope Diamond. The ring should come on the market 12/12/12 after a year of work.

"There are more than a billion years in a diamond," says a narrator in deep, velvety tones for the promotional video. Gosh, $70 million for a billion-year work of art almost sounds like a value.

Death Wish Coffee

Wake up and smell the coffee! And then go to the hospital with a coronary. I'm not suggesting that will happen if you buy Death Wish Coffee, though you are warned "Try at your own risk."

The company says unlike most coffee, which comes from Arabica beans, Death Wish Coffee is made from beans that have 200 percent more caffeine. "You will not find this coffee at your local diner or at your sissy Starbucks."

Oh, by the way, Death Wish Coffee is also organic, fair trade, shade grown and bird friendly. In other words, it'll kill you but save the planet. The coffee costs $20 a pound, and how is it? David Ponce at Oh Gizmo! is a fan of this joltin' joe.

"It’s like a sugar rush alongside the smooth caffeine soar we typically get," he wrote. "However, it’s not anything that had us shaking, twitching, sweating, or thinking we’d have a heart attack. ... As for taste, we’d describe it as nutty and robust but not overpowering or burnt. It was tasty and we’d be inclined to have more even if there was no power punch promise."

What a way to go.

Stun phone

Now your smart phone can save your life without an app. Two guys have come up with an $120 iPhone cover which delivers 650 thousand volts as a stun gun. It's called the Yellow Jacket Case.

Company co-founder Seth Froom came up with the idea after being attacked in his home by a robber.

The iPhone case has two probes at the top which can be easily activated to shock your attacker. The theory behind the product is that more people are walking around with their smart phones in their hands, and, if caught off guard, this weapon will be easier to access than mace in your handbag or a gun in your car. True.

I can foresee absolutely no problems with having an iPhone case that can deliver 650,000 volts. None. None at all. I'm sure it's completely idiot-proofed if I reach into my purse to fish it out.

Finally...

A cruel yet hilarious prank. The driver in this video startles his wife awake screaming that they are about to be hit by an oncoming big rig, when actually the big rig is just facing them as it's being towed from behind.

The stunt gives this poor woman the jolt of her life, though I can't help laughing every time I watch. The guy should be glad his wife didn't have a Yellow Jacket Case on her phone, because she might have been inclined to give him a shock.

The adrenaline rush she had must be similar to downing a couple shots of Death Wish Coffee, and nothing less than The World's First Diamond Ring will restore their marriage...

—By CNBC's Jane Wells
@janewells

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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