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Things You Can Buy Instead of an iPhone 5

A customer buys new Apple Inc. iPhone 5 devices at a store in San Francisco, California, U.S.
David Paul Morris | Bloomberg | Getty Images
A customer buys new Apple Inc. iPhone 5 devices at a store in San Francisco, California, U.S.

Millions of American are waiting for their new iPhone 5s to be delivered. My colleague, Bertha Combs, jokes that perhaps the deliverymen carrying the phones got lost using the new Apple map app.

I called my local Apple store today (Monday) in California to ask if they had any iPhone 5s in stock. "We only have the Sprint version." "Right now? In stock?" "Yes. If you want AT&T or Vernon , go online to order and come into the store tomorrow to pick it up."

What does it say about Sprint that some people would rather wait to get an iPhone from another carrier?

But I digress…

So you can’t get your hands on the phone that is so clearly super-duper-special-gotta-have-it-even-though-my-current-smartphone-is-just-fine. What other ways could you waste those few hundred bucks until your ship (from China) sails in?

I’m here to help.

1) GPS SHOES

Forget turn-by-turn directions. Here is step-by-step. British designer Dominic Wilcox has created GPS shoes. You input your destination, click your heels a la Dorothy, and the shoes light up to direct you there. One shoe's lights tell you which direction to move, and the other shoe lets you know how close you are to your destination. No word on pricing, or even if they'll be mass produced, but this may be a better investment than the iPhone 5. At least the map works.

2) GO GANGNAM STYLE!

Catch the global dance crazeby Korean pop rapier PSY! Learn the horse riding dance moves on an app! For free! The best part, you don't need an Apple product at all! It's only for Android phones, which are available...everywhere...and come loaded with Google maps. Hey Sexy Lady!

3) REAL FUR...FOR TODDLERS?

Can't give your little princess the latest iPhone so she can make a powerful fashion statement at school? Well, spoil her even more obnoxiously—buy her a $600 real fur coat. UK fashion house Pale Cloud has come out with its fall collection for girls ages 2 to 12, called "Children's Daily Couture." Think of it has styling Honey with a trust fund. The Life of Luxury log says this season's collection "has a strong colonial feel, based on 19th century India opulence." That'll go over well on the monkey bars. The most expensive piece in the collection is the Gwen jacket, made of real rabbit fur, retailing for over $600. Of course, any kindergartner choosing to wear the jacket faces the possibility a pint-sized PETA playground gang will throw red fingerprint on her.

—By CNBC's Jane Wells
@janewells

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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