And in the words of Ferris' economics teacher: "Bueller? … Bueller? … Bueller???"
In the real world, the No. 1 reason employees take a fake sick day is that they just don't feel like going to work (34 percent). That is quickly followed by a simple need to relax (29 percent); so they can make a doctor's appointment (22 percent); catch up on sleep (16 percent); or run some errands (15 percent).
Then, of course, there are the creative types who, for guilt or whatever reason, can't just leave it at "doctor's appointment."
Here are some of the most outrageous excuses for why employees take a "sick day" (have to put that in quotes for accuracy), according to the survey:
- Employee's sobriety tool wouldn't allow the car to start
- Employee forgot he had been hired for the job
- Employee said her dog was having a nervous breakdown
- Employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation
- Employee's toe was stuck in a faucet
- Employee said a bird bit her
- Employee was upset after watching "The Hunger Games"
- Employee got sick from reading too much
- Employee was suffering from a broken heart
- Employee's hair turned orange from dying her hair at home
Now, lest you think "He totally bought it!, " Employee with the Toe in the Faucet, here's a sobering fact that may help dislodge your digit: 29 percent of employers say they've actually called an employee's bluff on a sick day by either requesting a doctor's note or calling later in the day to see if they were really sick!
Oh, and you know that "friend" (also quotes for accuracy) who called to see if you needed anything? She may be faking, too! Eighteen percent of employers said they've had an employee call a suspected faker, and 14 percent have sent someone to the house. (Oh no, it's Principal Rooney!)
Oh, and hey boss — get ready. December, apparently, is the most popular month to call in sick, followed by July, January and February.
Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do:
Well, shake it up, baby now (shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout (twist and shout)
Come on, come on, come on, come on, baby, now (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out (work it on out) …
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