Someday I want to get a job where I get paid to talk about stuff that doesn't make any sense.
I have that job.
While "funny business blogger" may take first place in careers your parents don't consider real work, coming in a distant second might be "national color expert," which is the title for Kate Smith.
A press release which popped into my email describes Smith as "chief color maven and owner of Sensational Color." Her job? Finding the right color for houses, clothing, people, and also nailing down trends. Smith predicts the color for 2013 is (drumroll) ... blue.
Will 2013 be the year for naming your baby "Blue" (or Blue Ivy as Beyoncé did)? Eating bleu cheese? Using Blue Cross? Drinking Blue Moon beer?
Not quite, though I encourage you to do all those things, responsibly.
"As a color, blue represents stability and comfort," Smith said. Goodness knows we could use some of that. She claims there is a "blue movement," which I Googled. It's apparently a real thing.
"BLUE continues where green has not been able to go," said the official (?) website for the movement. "This is a larger revolution that includes peace, social and economic justice, as well as a personal sustainable lifestyle."
So green is no longer good enough. You have to go blue, and I don't mean blue in an open-mic-night-at-the-Laugh-Factory way. Blue isn't just a color anymore. It's a revolution.
Smith brings it all back home ... literally.
"Just as macaroni and cheese is considered a 'comfort food' we're finding that people gravitate to blue as a 'comfort color' for their lives and homes," the email said.
And then I discovered what the press release was really promoting—a roofing company. Smith suggests people will be painting their homes shades of blue and then balancing that out with warmer shades of brown. .. which can be found in DaVinci Roofscapes.
"An example of this would be the Sedona color blend found in polymer slate tiles by DaVinci Roofscapes that features a combination of Clay and Terracotta colors. The muted warm tones of the roof will complement the blues on the home to create an appealing exterior."
Wow. I didn't see that coming. Brown? I thought we were talking about blue.
So let's return to that color.
The holidays make a lot of people feel blue. In my case, nothing makes me want to impale myself on a Christmas tree more than when I see people wearing holiday sweaters.
Here's one way to fight the blues better than buying brown terracotta roof tiles. Don't fight the ugly sweaters, embrace them. Help raise money for Stand Up to Cancer during December by wearing a sweater covered in applique Christmas lights and fuzzy snowballs.
"Hey, Cancer! It's gonna get ugly" is the campaign's slogan.
Sign up and ask friends to pledge money to SU2C for every day during December you have the guts to go out in public wearing an ugly holiday sweater. Or, better idea, throw an Ugly Sweater Party to raise money. Talk about making eggnog out of rotten eggs!
"Wearing an ugly sweater once is funny, Wearing it for weeks takes commitment" the campaign's website said. "That's the kind of commitment it takes to Stand Up To Cancer."
Suddenly I'm not feeling blue at all. It's still 2012, and I'm seeing green—the kind of green I might be able to raise if I can find a really ugly sweater and start raising some cash.
—By CNBC's Jane Wells
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email firstname.lastname@example.org