Funny Business with Jane Wells

Business "Scents" And Burger Taste Test


TriSenx Scent Dome

For decades, the Holy Grail of television has been... Smell-o-vision! Be careful what you wish for. A new website,, launches today, making money by providing online content that contains smells. All you need to do is pony up $18-$28 a month, depending on the length of your subscription, and you will receive a Scent Dome! (?) The trademarked device, made by TriSenx Holdings, has 20 fragrance cartridges which allegedly combine to form thousands of scents. Attach it to your computer and, well, I'm not sure, but I guess smells are emitted which fit the programming. Is that worth $18-$28 a month? Smells a tad rich.

The website says the President of Scenttv is George Ulmer, who's worked on lots of CD-ROMs and DVDs. "Notable projects include MMW's The Hire II DVD and an online database for an upcoming Hollywood movie." Ah, ok. The online channel is supposed to launch today (Monday), but last I checked it had yet to post a schedule. It appears a lot of the content will be user-generated. Which means one thing... fart jokes. Fortunately, a one-year subscription includes unlimited replacement cartridges for your Scent Dome.

Emma Watson will play Hermione Granger in the final two "Harry Potter" films after all. Watson

Emma Watson

says in a press release, "I could never let Hermione go--she is my hero!" (I'm taking bets on whether she really said this, or the publicist just made it up...I mean, really). The news directly contradicts earlier reports from co-star Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley. Grint said Watson is sick of being known as Hermione and wanted out, and that he and Daniel (now known as "Dan") Radcliff, who plays Harry, are "distant" from their 16-year-old co-star. "We don't text or talk to her when we are not filming." SNAP! Dan(iel) not texting Emma while he's performing nude in Equus? Could that be what sent her over the edge? More likely, she realized that steady work is hard to come by in Hollywood. Those Hermione residual checks will pay a lot of bills down the road when the scripts stop coming. By the way, go to Check out Emma Watson's acting resume versus Grint's and Radcliff's. Yes, you'll see why she signed on.


Last Friday I did a story on how McDonald's   is testing a third-pound, Angus beef burger in Southern California, taking on the high end, extra large angus burgers from Burger King  and Carl's Jr. McDonald's wouldn't let us into a restaurant, but the company agreed to let me do "live shots" outside. So I did. With two co-workers. Doing a taste test. I hid the identities of three uber-burgers being tested, one each from Burger King, Carl's and Mickey D's. My two co-workers only knew them as #1, #2, and #3. On live television they pronounced their verdicts: they liked #1 and #2. You guess it. McDonald's was #3. I laughed uncomfortably and joked, "We'd better get out of here, heh-heh. Heh." But to McDonald's credit, the PR woman looked more stunned than anything else. She didn't yell, she didn't get angry, she didn't even kick us out. Believe me, that's what normally happens. She probably knows that, in the end, taste test or no taste test...McDonald's always wins.

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