Funny Business with Jane Wells

Star Jones Admits To Bypass Surgery: I Think We Knew That

Kelly Osbourne

So Star Jonesfinally admits she had gastric bypass surgery. Really? People, it's like denying you had a facelift, collagen, or breast augmentation. WE KNOW. 177,000 people had gastric bypass last year, nearly double from 2003, making it one of the fastest growing plastic surgery procedures. So is PhotoShop. Check out Kelly Osbourne--I'll have what she's having.

Dream Green is saluting Cheech & Chong's "Up in Smoke."The film chronicles the wacky pot-hazed pursuits of the comedic duo, and is a cult classic. Ok, so apparently, 4:20 pm is the time of day when potheads traditionally start lighting up. So, Dream Green has come out with a line of drinks called the 420 Energy Drink, which will give you enough energy to last four hours and 20 minutes. Have a couple cans at noon and be relaxed by the time 4:20 pm rolls around, "when this street legal dose of caffeine wares (sic) off." I'm not kidding, that's the pitch.

This is allegedly a real product and that is its marketing campaign. The press release I received directs you to the company Web site: Check it out. Every time I try to click on something on the web page, there's nothing there. Maybe Cheech & Chong are in charge.


Canadian Flag

We in the lower 48 are launching IPO's this year for companies like Blackstone, Hertz and KBR. Up north, the biggest IPO of the year in Canada so far is...A YOGA CLOTHIER! Lululemon. You read that right. Lululemon is the name of the company. It went public last Friday, and in less than three days of trading its share price has nearly doubled (LLL.TO). Namaste! The company issued more than 18 million shares at $18 apiece, raising $327 million dollars. Two weeks earlier Lululemon warned it would offer fewer shares at a much lower price, and one analyst speculated it could mean, "there isn't as much of an appetite on the stock." That analyst obviously wasn't practicing his Downward Dog.

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