Funny Business with Jane Wells

Elton John, The Eagles Respond To Countrywide Crisis

Elton John

So is my headline true? Not really. But bloggers out there are having a field day with the Countrywide situation, capturing the mortgage mayhem in ways more creative than any no-doc, no money down, 120% Alt-A pay-option mortgage.

From, come the following song parodies from "Anonymous" (I promise it's not me. I'm not that clever. Not even Fake Jane is that clever).

First, here's part of one parody "Anonymous" wrote "with apologies to Elton John and Norma Jean."

Goodbye Angelo,
Though we never knew you that well.
You had the balls to sell your stock
While those around you fell.
You crawled out of the woodwork
And whispered into their brains.
You set them on their treadmill,
And you made them change their game.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to lend to
When the rain set in.
And I would have liked to have known you
But I am just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did.

Then, here's the chorus and the back half of a second song parody "with apologies to the Eagles" and their hit "Lyin' Eyes":

You can't hide your losin' loans,
And your smile is a thin disguise.
I thought by now you'd realize,
There ain't no way to hide you losin' loans.

He gets up and pours himself a strong one,
And stares out at the stars up in the sky.
Another night, it's gonna be a long one.
He draws the shade and hangs his head to cry.
He wonders how it ever got this crazy.
He thinks about the loans that broke the rule.
Did he get tired or did he just get lazy?
He's so far gone he feels just like a fool.
My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things.
You set it up so well, so carefully.

Ain't it funny how your new loans didn't change things.
You're still the same old boy you used to be.
You can't hide your losin' loans
And your smile is a thin disguise.
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your losin' loans.
There ain't no way to hide your losin' loans.
Angelo, you can't hide your losin' loans.

Email me if you can top those. I also accept haiku and sonnets in iambic pentameter.

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