Funny Business with Jane Wells

A&P Market Rap Video: Eat To The Beets Anyone?

A&P Supermarkets

Two brothers from New Jersey have been fired from an A&P market for filming a rap video called “Produce Paradise.” Click here to check it out.

Yes, it’s juvenile and somewhat disgusting, and it reminds us all to thoroughly rinse our veggies when we get home from the grocery store. But Mark and Matthew D’Avellas claim they shot the video after hours with a manager’s permission, the desecrated produce was bought somewhere else, and the flyers used in the “special effects” came from another store. Now the AP (not to be confused with the A&P) reports the two are being sued for $1 million for defamation and lost business! A MILLION DOLLARS. The story states at least one customer is boycotting the store due to disgust. Wow. That one customer must eat a lot of produce.

Meantime, the fired duo is asking bloggers to complain and “Spread the word. Fight the power.” Oh yeah, and buy one of their “Fresh Beets” t-shirts. It’s a great country.

A company called Genius Products (who’s the genius who thought that up), is helping release a DVD of a film called “Dirty Sanchez,” which follows the sickening pranks of a British troupe of “Jackass” types. But to kick the marketing campaign up a notch, the DVD comes with…a barf bag. See, this is supposed to make you WANT to buy the DVD. I mean, who wouldn’t want to buy a DVD that comes with a bag you can vomit into? Genius’ ingenious VP of marketing says the barf bag "was a fun way for us to communicate directly with fans, and tell them what the DVD is all about." So it’s all about…vomit? I can’t wait for the next release. Maybe it’ll come with a hot poker. Or suppositories.

“Attacking the Inhibitors to SOA Adoption”

Anybody want to guess what this means? I prefer guesses from people who don’t know SOA from SOB. Email me.

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