Funny Business with Jane Wells

Wisconsin Is The Place For Me! (It's The Juice)

Tee Pee Supper Club

God Bless Wisconsin. Folks, you haven't really seen America until you've watched people wade into a cranberry bog and harvest one of the few fruits native to this continent. Better yet, put on waders and do the work yourself. I've done just that at Bill and Sandy Hatch's Dandy Creek Marsh, outside Wyeville, WI, population 146. People here could not be nicer.

By the way, raw cranberries...not bad. A little tart.

Slices of my Wisconsin experience:

Last night I went to Ed Thompson's Tee Pee restaurant in Tomah, WI. I can't even begin to describe it--a sort of 1970's Native American...ish decor.

Ed is former Gov. Tommy Thompson's brother. The place was hopping. Great steaks, a massive buffet, people singing karaoke, Ed holding court in the pool room/indoor driving range. My cameraman (who's from Madison) complained to Ed that the fried cheese curds weren't up to par. He'd wanted to impress me with a true Wisconsin treat and was disappointed (I wasn't. Hey, food is food--it's all good).

Ed smiled, said "I'm sorry," but then wouldn't let the cameraman swing on the indoor driving range unless he paid $20. On the upside, the steak was awesome. On the downside, I was your typical California earth mother sprouts-loving cad at the salad bar--where about the only thing vegetable was the iceberg lettuce. Though that crab salad was delicious, even at 1,000 calories per serving!

Berry Big Business

This morning, after stuffing myself with eggs, bacon, and country potatoes during breakfast at Perkins, I found myself in the bathroom with some other ladies. A voice from one stall called out, "Marge, which prescription plan do you have?" "Marge" answered from two stalls down, "I don't have one. Don't need one yet." The first voice asked incredulously, "You mean your cholesterol's ok???" I thought, "No kidding. I'm busy trying to massage breakfast through my arteries..."

Funny Business Reader and native Wisconsinite (is that what they're called?) Tim J., who has a cheesehead FOR BOTH HIMSELF AND HIS GOLDEN RETRIEVER writes:

1. Q: How can you tell who is the judge in a Wiscahnsin courtroom?

A: He's the one wearing the CLEAN Brett Favre jersey.

Meantime, do Wisconsin a favor. Drink that cranberry juice. It may just help sluice out all that cholesterol.

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