Funny Business with Jane Wells

Some Funny Business With The Vlog...


First, apologies to those of you trying to click and play the vlog from Friday. No, it wasn't another pathetic bait-and-switch by me to drive up traffic, like when I posted Erin Burnett's picture for no particular reason. There seemed to be some technical issues. Rumors that management yanked it for not being appropriate are allegedly not true.

Those Rotarians in Taksin Pattaya Really Crack Me UP

So in my email inbox this morning is a note from the Rotary Club in Taksin Pattaya. Of course! Why shouldn't Rotarians in Thailand email me? Anyhow, they had a stress management workshop last week, and apparently it was a huge hit. Now, I thought about hitting the "delete" button, but then it hit me. Wait. I bet this is good. So I clicked on the link, and I wasn't disappointed. Here's the site.

There's a slide show of the exciting event, along with captions highlighting the... highlights. My favorite: "Simple metaphors to manage stress and jokes to evoke laughter were narrated during the session. These included the dolphin and the Malaysian Airline joke."

WHAT??? So I googled "dolphin and the Malaysian Airline joke" and came up with zilch. Does anyone know what the joke is?

A Business Idea Marking the Downfall of American Culture
(such as it is)

For $10, starting tomorrow, you can buy a book that takes 224 pages to tell you how to flip someone off. This is not a lie.

The book, from Random House's Broadway Publishing, is called "101 Ways to Flip the Bird." It's coming out in paperback (the book world's version of straight-to-DVD), written by two brothers: Jason Joseph, of Buffalo, New York, and Rick Joseph, described as "a film producer and novelty toy manufacturer... credited on such comedy classics as 'Rush Hour' and 'National Lampoon's Van Wilder'" ( has him listed as a co-producer on "Van Wilder" and an assistant on "Rush Hour"). How proud their mother must be! They've been published! With a book about... well...

Those of you foolish enough to think there's only one way to flip the bird -- or even more foolish to think such a topic not fit for discussion, let alone publication -- there is much to learn. According to thebook's listing(warning, not for kids):

"A joker makes a snide remark about your haircut? Cup a Bird behind your ear and flip them Sorry, I'm Deaf (see page 66).

Your cheap friend is hitting you up for money again? Pull Here, I've Got Something For You out of your pocket (see page 38).

First date boring you half to death with inane chatter? Amuse yourself with the Thinker, a simple and pensive Bird to the chin (see page 64)."

Countrywide's New Business?

Angelo Mozilo this week has to clear out all the remaining shares he has in one of his pre-arranged trading plans. Meantime, Countrywide employees are being urged to wear green rubber wristbands saying "Protect Our House" in a show of solidarity with the company. Apparently not everyone is on board. A practical joker managed to get some Countrywide stationary and posted the following memo.

The photo was originally posted by blogger W.C. Varones, who describes himself as "a cynical vegetarian libertarian capitalist pig in San Francisco."

Speaking of capitalists, someone on Craigslist WANTS TO BUY ONE OF THE WRISTBANDS! A new revenue stream!

More Branding Ideas for Jane's Farm Report

Your ideas continue to flood in.

Funny Business

From Jim M.: Jane's Little Acre

Dan in Maryland: Auntie Jane's Barnyard Antics (Dan! Honestly!)

Bret L: The Funny Farm

Leo P: Plains Jane

[EDITORS' NOTE: We have no recollection as to what Jane is talking about concerning her vlog. We would never censor Jane. Never. See, here is her vlog, er, right here.]

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