Funny Business with Jane Wells

Teri Hatcher And The "Lip Plumper" Lawsuit


Like some bizarre plot twist from Wisteria Lane, Teri Hatcher is being sued for agreeing to represent one lip-plumping product, then pumping another plumper (Are her lips even plump? Sorry, it’s not something I’ve noticed).

Hatcher is being sued by Hydroderm which hired her to promote its lip enhancer product on the condition she not promote anything else on her lips. Hydroderm’s product works without injections--it plumps up your lips externally, to give you the “bee stung” look. I wonder if it stings.

Funny story—I know someone who, a few years back, was inside a very exclusive leather jacket/accessories store on Melrose where you have to make an appointment. Hatcher was the only other customer in the store. How did my friend recognize her? Hatcher was wearing a T-shirt that said “I (heart) Desperate Housewives,” JUST IN CASE you couldn’t place her.

Anyhow, Hydroderm accuses Hatcher of promoting rival CityLips' plumper, along with other rivals’ products. The company reportedly wants back its $2.4 million endorsement fee and $400,000 in expenses. SHE GETS PAID THAT MUCH FOR A LIP PLUMPER THAT I HAVEN’T EVEN NOTICED?

Well, the courts decided that, even in America, you have to draw the line somewhere. A judge ruled the case is not trial-worthy and has sent it to an arbitrator instead.

A Canadian study says the larger a woman’s breasts at age 20 (I assume they mean without artificial enhancement), the more likely she may develop Type 2 Diabetes later in life. If you’re a C cup at age 20, your chances of developing diabetes may be four times greater, five times greater if you’re a D.

But doctors caution “it is too early” to draw any conclusions. They need to do…more studies. In any case, Fake Jane can now check one potential disease off her list.

Meantime, off to Hawaii for work. I know, but someone's gotta do it. I'll be live Friday from Honolulu reporting on everything from real estate to agriculture to tech to venture capital to remarks by the Fed's Janet Yellen there Thursday night.

"Book him Danno. Murder one. Two counts."

Aloha! Comments? Funny Stories? Email