Funny Business with Jane Wells

'Do Not Disturb' Contest; More Reader Love/Hate

Do Not Disturb

In our interactive/reality TV culture, Embassy Suites decided to get patrons in on the decision to create new “Do Not Disturb” signs (“DND”).

Here, after months of deliberations, are the winners:

Ok, the pillow fight one is kinda cute. I’m not sure I get the one that says, “Aww Mom, just five more minutes please?”

But it got me thinking. With the city of New York handing out free Valentine’s Day condoms last week bearing the slogan “Get Some” (true!), I can only imagine the DND entries Embassy Suites deemed inappropriate. The “Do Not Disturb” signs which were too disturbing. THOSE I want to see.

E-Mails Regarding Countrywide, Fake Jane and Sarah Silverman

From appraiser Alan Z, regarding my post last Thursday asking, “Should we have seen this coming?” in the housing downturn:

"When I was an appraiser for Countrywide, I did a review appraisal of a multi-million dollar property in Highland Park, a very upscale, northern suburb of Chicago. The original appraisal came in just over $5 million but my review had the value looking very close to $3 million.

I did the inspection en route to dinner and my date, who was from Lithuania, was in the car. As I was jotting down numbers, I muttered to myself how someone could be that far off on value. Her remark was 'We know how to play the system.' When I asked 'What system?' she concluded 'We (immigrants) come here, buy a home, refinance it well above value, get the money, go home and live like kings.'

When I interviewed with Washington Mutual for their Appraisal Compliance Officer position, I was asked 'What would you do to help the situation?' My reply was 'Remove the owner's estimate of value from the order form.' Needless to say I didn't get the position…”

From Gloria H., who says she was let go from Countrywide:

“Get a reality check people. I hope it’s not tomorrow when the police come and close your office only to leave you and your overtime out the door. I had to wait a month to get all of my paycheck.”

From Tim J, regarding the video story I posted Thursday on rising home values which originally aired in December 2004:

“Great clip! I wonder what value Zillow has for those four homes now? I wish I knew then what I know now.”

Some love from Jeff B:

“Whether it's from Disneyland or a pineapple field, your edgy cynicism does to cookie-cutter TV what spicy salsa does to a bland omelet.”

Dave in PA expresses his concern about new Botox warnings:

“Oh my gosh...What will Fake Jane do without Botox? I'm sure the warnings don't apply to her. Besides, it's worth the risks anyway. Where would our advanced civilization be without shooting poison into our eyebrows and charging it to our maxed-out credit cards?”

And on my post regarding the hilariously obscene Sarah Silverman video with Matt Damon:

From Pati G:

“Thanks for posting about the segment! Some in the media wouldn't have had the guts to put it up! Glad to see your not ‘politically correct’, and that you have a sense of humor!”

From Gyro:

“Jane, you and Fake Jane will never be beyond the bounds of good taste. Just routinely pronounce yourself 'marginal' like I have done for almost 55 years. It covers all situations and comments…you will never have to make additional explanations or explain yourself.”

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