Funny Business with Jane Wells

7UP Targets New International Growth: Space Aliens!!

7 up

When’s the last time you drank 7UP? I haven’t since the guy with the Caribbean accent talked about the “Uncola Nut.” Maybe that’s why the Cadbury Schweppes classic is now offering to send 7UPs to space aliens.

After the alleged spotting of UFO’s outside Phoenix and Orlando recently (FINALLY! Aliens are discovering Disney World and landing somewhere outside the Southwest!), 7UP marketing geniuses decided to start sending cans of the drink to potential landing sites around those two cities.

The aim? Well, to try to soften the aliens up with a delicious drink so maybe they won’t eat us, or, as the press release says, “at the very least, give the aliens a naturally delicious chaser after they have consumed the human race.” My advice, put some Seagrams in there and conquer the aliens with 7&7.

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