Funny Business with Jane Wells

Fake Lloyd Blankfein

Another entry in the best fake blog contest! This one is from reader "Helena Handbasket" who ponders how a fake, image-obsessed, insecure version of the Goldman Sachs Chairman and CEO would react to the following clip on CNBC discussing his "package."

"Dear Clients and Investors,

Fake Lloyd Blankfein

I have had a great amount of criticism on a particular subject of which I am sure you are all aware. I decided it was time to address the issue on my blog. If you watch the above commentary between Charles Gasparino and Melissa Francis you will notice that Ms. Francis makes reference to my package and its size. They also made a bet on the size of my package. I want to assure you all, it is not as large a package as one would think. The size of my package compared to the size of Goldman Sachs is trivial. Some might think my package is too large and they are envious but I have worked hard to achieve this greatness. The people who make the decisions about package size are aware of the impact on the company as a whole. They have assured me and I can assure you, size is not the issue of importance. The quality of the person for whom the size of the package is determined, is the issue of importance. As you all know, at Goldman Sachs, our greatest asset is our people. Even though our people have packages of varying size, we are all here to do our best and make the most money for you, the client and investor.


Fake Lloyd Blankfein"

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