So, you forgot to buy flowers for Valentine’s Day.
Nice going, slick.
Well, lucky for you there’s a recession going on, which is offering a convenient excuse for getting out of just about anythingfrom marriage proposals to being cheap on Valentine’s Day, the New York Times reports.
“It’s the silver lining in the recession cloud,” Dani Klein Modisett, who used the recession as an excuse to fire her nanny and avoid confrontation, told the Times. “In fact, it comes in quite handy.”
A 28-year-old business student in Chicago used the recession to postpone popping the question to his partner, instead of just saying that he had cold feet.
A Queens woman said she and her boyfriend used the recession as an excuse to get out of going to Disney World with his family.
And Nick Haramis “dropped the ‘R’ bomb” on his boyfriend to prep him for a leaner Valentine’s Day.
“I’m usually a flowers-and-chocolates kind of guy,” Haramis told the Times. But this year, he’s showing his Valentine love with a single, ripe tomato.
“Some people refer to them as ‘scarlet love apples,’” he explained.
What the Times doesn’t tell you is that if you’re going to drop the ‘R’ bomb this Valentine’s Day, you had better wrap it with some made-it-myself, swoon-inducing romance.
Or you're going to burn hard and fast like a cigarette resting casually on a polyester suit.
You can make your own card, perhaps with a picture of the two of you in it and a great quote about love from a famous movie.
You can make little coupons good for foot rubs or breakfast in bed.
You can buy a single red rose and lay it on the bed with a love note.
Cook dinner and rent a great, classic romantic movie. (Here are 100 aw-inducing movies to choose from.)
Whatever you do, do NOT just drop a tomato — sorry, scarlet love apple — in her lap and think you're going to get lucky.
Think Jack Nicholson from “As Good As It Gets” and declare: “You make me want to be a better man.”
Think Billy Crystal from "When Harry Met Sally," and rattle off a list of things you love about her like, "I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts."
Or channel David Cassidy from when he was still in the Partridge Family and tell her, with conviction, "I believe ... I think I love you."
(Here are at least 100 more romantic movie quotesto get her heart fluttering like a pigeon bathing in the gutter.)
And of course, it never hurts to stop at Tiffany , the nearest 1-800-Flowers store or Victoria's Secret on your way home tonight.
If you're going to be cheap, do it with style.
Hey, roll your eyes all you want. I'm not the one sleeping on the couch.
Just looking out for you, buddy.
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