There Must Be A Pony In Here Somewhere

Time to Put the Fun in 'FUNemployment!’


It’s a brave new grammatical world out there since the recession started. We’ve learned all kinds of new words like TARP, TALF — and savings.

2 kids jumping into a pool.

We tried to make a week of not showering and downloading iPhone apps more exciting by calling it a “staycation.”

But let’s face it: Most of those words are a downer — either because you can’t remember what they stand for or they just sound depressing.

But now that we're in the 7th inning of this recession, we're starting to loosen up a little.

Ah, ‘Funemployment’

Recessions are like a 12-step program: After you get over the initial shock of losing your job and subsequent panic about how to pay the bills, it's time to put the fun back in “FUNemployment.”

Funemployment is one of the newest additions to the recession lexicon and it is “the condition of a person who takes advantage of being out of a job to have the time of their life,” according to Urban Dictionary. 

As in: “Got lost on the way to the grocery store and somehow ended up at the beach. Ah, funemployment,” as one friend wrote recently on Facebook.

Admittedly, it’s most popular among 20- and 30-somethings, than their older counterparts who have mortgages and college funds to worry about, the LA Times reports.

But why can’t we all have a little fun when we’re unemployed? I mean, when you were working, how many times did you complain about your job or want to throw your BlackBerry out the window? Worrying doesn’t make you get a job faster. And, when you think of how many more years you’ll be working — that’s 20 to 25 if you’re in your early 40s — why not take advantage of this break and enjoy yourself a little?

Send a few emails then head to the beach. Make a couple calls then pick up your buddy and head to the driving range. Give the resume machine a rest and flop in the park with a good book.

Yeah, that’s it, you’re getting the hang of it now!

Happy ‘Canniversary!’

If you’ve been unemployed for nearly a year, guess what’s coming up?

Your “canniversary!”

Another fun new addition to the Recessionese language, it means taking a “celebratory stance towards what could otherwise be a downer,” according to Recessionwire.

Instead of hiding behind a Snuggie and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, Recessionwire suggests “rewarding yourself for surviving with a night on the town.” Or, if you were laid off in a group, “why not get the whole gang together for the festivities?” Recessionwire asks. “You’ve earned it.” As in: “Should we do our canniversary at Raoul’s?”

Gosh, I always forget this one — what do you buy for the first canniversary — is that diamonds or paper?!

It’s Just My ‘Bridge Job’

So you’re really a lawyer but got laid off and don’t want to tell anyone that you’re working at the Orange Julius at the mall.

Stop hiding behind the Smoothie machine and start believing in yourself. You’re still a lawyer. This is just temporary.

You know what it is? It’s your “bridge job.”

It’s a term that’s been used by economists in the past to describe the work people take to transition from a full-time job to full-time retirement.

Now, you can use it to describe the blowoff job you take to make ends meet or keep you busy after you’ve been laid off, according to Recessionwire.

The best part? You can still partake in “funemployment” while holding down your “bridge job!”

Yeah! Now, who’s up for a conga line through the food court?

Hoping for a ‘Prayoff’

If you’re sitting in your cubicle, seething with jealousy over all this funemployment talk, great news! We’ve got a word for you, too.

It’s called a “prayoff.”

No, it’s not when a religious war breaks out and they settle it by having a prayoff.

A prayoff, Recessionwire says, is when you hate your job and pray every day to be laid off.

As in: “Cross your fingers, I think today might be the day my prayoff comes through! If it is, party tonight at Jim's!”

OK, now get out there and have some fun! And remember, there are no problems. Just “propportunities!”

Pony Treats:

I Haight FUNemployment! Get your cheap on San Francisco because funemployment is coming to a Haight Street near you! Fun-employment.comoffers a list of cheap things to do in the Golden Gate City, compiled by " two people who understand that the best job is NO job at all."

No Money, No Job? Fugheddaboudit! Not to be outdone, Brokelyn.comoffers ways to keep it cheap in the borough of Kings. Everything from a guide to "dumpster diving" to an essay that asks, "Does Less Money Equal More Sex?"

I'll Drink to That. And, offers listings of happy hours and free drinks in New York and Chicago. The best part? They'll email you the list every week!

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