Funny Business with Jane Wells

Geek Squad V. Gizmodo

No one can lob insults from the anonymity of a computer keyboard like a geek. Mild-mannered in person, but a vicious, rapacious giant killer when typing away on a netbook in a recliner.

The Gizmodo crew is mocking Best Buy in a blog describing the seven different types of employees who work there--kinda like the Seven Dwarves, only creepier. The blog was written by an admitted former employee who worked at Best Buy during high school "before getting fired for badly, badly abusing the employee discount system."

The seven employee types are:

Source: Gizmodo

1. Car Audio Thug ("You suspect that if he didn't have a job selling car stereos, he'd be stealing them")

2. Marginally Cute Customer Service Girl ("She's maybe 17 years old and is kind of cute, but only when compared to the chubby piles of sadness she's surrounded with")

3. Grizzled Old Home Theater/Computer Sales Lifer ("He's a refugee from Lechmere or Tweeter or some other now-defunct retail outlet")

4. Pervy Geek Squad Guy ("He's got a level 80 World of Warcraft character")

5. Sad Department Manager ("He still lives in the town he went to high school in, is balding, gained 15 pounds and is the manager of the digital cameras department")

6. Slick Careerist Manager ("He may be a robot")

7. Terrifying Loss-Prevention Guy ("either an ex-con, an ex-cop or a vet")

What does Best Buy say? "It was a pretty funny post," says Best Buy Chief Marketing Officer Barry Judge on his blog.

In fact, the Gizmodo post was so inspirational that the Best Buy team decided to start classifying the different types of Gizmodo bloggers you'll find. Except they only came up with one type.

Source: Gizmodo

"You'll find this guy on his couch, sporting an ironic t-shirt with a delivery-food stain of some kind," the Best Buy "team" writes.

"He 'commuted' minutes earlier by rolling out of bed and over to his laptop in his shoebox-sized Brooklyn (Williamsburg) apartment littered with empty Redbull cans.

He came to Gizmodo 9 months ago after deciding that 'traditional media' wasn't edgy enough (read: required pants and didn't like it when he powered down walls of TVs).

He only puts on pants in order to put electronics down them, and he gets very upset if you mess with his Star Wars legos.

He genuinely believes that the hot PR girl is into him and not just trying to get a post. He overuses the word 'fail.'"

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