Funny Business with Jane Wells

The Perfect Job On 'The Go'

If you're like me, just looking at a glass of iced tea or coffee or wine makes you have to go to the bathroom. I sometimes wonder what's the point of actually drinking the stuff—I should just pour it down the flusher and save time.

Sound familiar? Then I have the BEST JOB EVER for you.

Charmin is holding auditions Thursday to find "five super-fun, enthusiastic people to work at the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square," in New York City this holiday season.

The five will become Charmin Ambassadors at the special bathrooms the toilet paper company owned by Proctor & Gamble sets up there.

Here's a video shot during a previous holiday season to give you an idea of what the job entails.

But wait 'til you hear about the pay: $10,000! To be a toilet attendant! Beats watching people use the restroom at a restaurant, then use up all your hand lotion and refuse to leave a tip.

The job starts November 23rd and goes through New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve! Paid to be in Times Square on its most popular night at what will likely be its most popular destination. TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR FIVE WEEKS PAY. That would work out to $104,000 a year.

Qualifications? "All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom." Check.

Winners will "greet and entertain bathroom guests. Then, blog about the experience."

I'm telling you, if they had one in LA I'd moonlight there. It'd be the easiest money I'd ever make.

Charmin will be accepting applications this Thursday at the Hilton on 53rd Street and 6th Ave, starting at 10a. You can start lining up at 8a. The company says, "Be Prepared to Answer: Why YOU 'enjoy the go' more than anyone else and why YOU should be hired this holiday season."

How many people do they expect? A lot. "The first 1,000 candidates in line will be guaranteed an audition." Imagine being a judge sitting through a thousand enthusiastic potty-goers "entertaining" you with tales of how much they love the toilet? Simon Cowell would probably interrupt most auditions midstream...

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