Funny Business with Jane Wells

The Gift That Stops Giving

Motorized Rolling Pin

The Funny Business Product of the Week! An idea that ensures no one will ever want you to buy them a gift again.

If you want to completely freak out your loved ones and make them think you've lost your mind along with your income, buy a supply of Prank Pack Fake Gift Boxes .

The company behind this ingenious product is 30 Watt, formed by ex-pranksters from The Onion.

They sell only gift boxes.

That's all.

For $8 apiece, plus $5 shipping and handling.

Why on earth would you spend $13 for an empty gift box? Because the boxes ARE the gift, sort of. They make it look like the gift inside is the most ridiculous product ever conceived.

Coffee Talkies

There are six empty boxes to choose from.

One promises that inside is a pair of Coffee Talkies, a combination coffee mug and two-way radio—"The biggest coffee mug innovation since the lid".

Or maybe you'd like to get dad The Noggin' Net, a combination fish net and hat!

For mom, how about the Wake & Bake Dream Griddle Alarm Clock, which wakes you up at bedside with fresh pancakes.


My favorite, however, is the Birdie Belt, a massive contraption which latches onto the belt of your favorite golfer.

"Every golfer has purchased their share of questionable gadgets, but this one will really confuse 'em. An antenna, GPS, stainless steel tools all on your belt...stupid, really stupid."

Ah, but not stupid enough that some golfers wouldn't want one. ?


"The goal of every Prank Pack is quite simple," says creator Arik Norby (is that a real name? Am I being pranked?).

"Make friends and family squirm with discomfort with what appears to be a hapless gift. Each fake gift box depicts ridiculous products created by clueless companies. Inside hides the real present, but the true gift is the unease and half-hearted enthusiasm created by the Prank Pack."

Ok, now. You're supposed to put a REAL gift inside.

See, there are no such things as Birdie Belts or Coffee Talkies. They're just boxes.

Beer Beard

Though, to be honest, I would actually buy the Beer Beard, which allows you to sneak beer into concerts or ballgames.

"Just fill the Beer Beard with up to 72 ounces of your favorite refreshment, strap it on and sip at your leisure through the patented 'Thirs-T-Tooob'. With the Beer Beard, you'll always be undercover and over-hydrated!"

Those would sell.

Though maybe not to women.

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