Funny Business with Jane Wells

Tiger's New 'Sponsors'

While many of Tiger Woods' sponsors--Nike,Gatorade, and Gillette--continue to stand by him, the beleaguered golf great is suddenly getting new "sponsors", ones he'd probably rather do without.

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First we had Spirit Airlines' "Eye of the Tiger" special $9 fares, which includes animation of a tiger driving an SUV into a fire hydrant.

Now, 99 Cents Only Stores plans to tee off a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times next week which plays off media speculation about what happened inside Woods' house. CEO Eric Schiffer tells me the company always takes out a full-page ad on Tuesday, but next week, in the upper right hand corner, there will be a "Golfer's Special--The Ouchies Relief Kit."

Highlighted products will include hydrogen peroxide, bandages, rubbing alcohol, pain medication, everything you need "for cuts and bruises...all under a dollar." When I laughed in surprise, asking, "Really?" He said, "Well, unless the LA Times pulls it."

Apparently, the money that went into coming up with the advertising concept adds up to even less than 99 cents. Schiffer says someone on his staff suggested the idea, and "anytime someone at the office comes up with something funny, we just go with it."

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