Funny Business with Jane Wells

Man Goes to ER After One 'Wicked' Sandwich


Sometimes in life, bad things happen. Sometimes, it's not really anyone's fault. But, most of the time, Americans sue.

You can imagine how surprised I was to see this story coming out of Georgia.

"A Georgia man bit off more than he could chew, literally," writes David Moye. The man, Chad Ettmueller, claims he bit into the "Wicked", a five meat, three cheese sandwich served at the Which Wich chain. (And you thought the new KFC Double Down was a mouthful).

The Wicked contains five meats (turkey, ham, roast beef, pepperoni and bacon) and three cheeses.

Ettmueller was so hungry he doubled down on the Wicked, ordering twice the meat.

When he took a bite, his jaw locked open... and wouldn't close.

"Ettmueller had his jaw locked in the open mouth, insert foot—or sandwich—position for more than 14 hours before doctors were able to surgically manipulate it back to its normal area," Moye writes.

What did Ettmueller demand for his pain and suffering? Merely that Which Wich provide him with another sandwich to replace the one he never got to eat (turns out his best friend ate the original—"it had to die").


No lawsuit?

No demand that the Dallas-based sandwich chain cover his medical bills or compensate him for pain and suffering?

"It wasn't the sandwich's fault, it was my genetics," Ettmueller says.

Who is this man? He is, of all things, A SETTLEMENT SPECIALIST IN WORKERS COMP CLAIMS.

Not only is Ettmueller not suing—which is jaw-dropping enough—he even let Which Wich make a YouTube video "re-enacting" the incident as a crazy marketing tool.

The video was made only after Which Wich founder Jeff Sinelli could be convinced he wasn't going to get sued. "In our six years of operating Which Wich we have never heard anything quite like this," he said in a statement. "We are happy to report that Chad is in good spirits and his jaw is healing. In the meantime, we are just supplying him with as many milkshakes as he wants."

Which Wich is now holding a contest to rename the already aptly-named Wicked sandwich in Ettmueller's honor. Nominees include Lock-jaw, Double Dislocator, and Jaw Wrecker. How about A Great American, in honor of a regular guy who decided not to hold a restaurant chain responsible for his own actions.

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