Funny Business with Jane Wells

Don't Call It a Downgrade

Even Snooki got a better rating than U.S. debt.

This financial situation is no joke, but when times get tough, Americans cope by cracking wise.

Elayne Boosler noted on Twitter than by going from AAA to AA, "America's Credit Rating has been downgraded from Auto Club to Training Bra."

And who is S&P to pass judgment?

My friend, reporter John Klekamp, notes the ratings agency must be thinking, "We know we blew it with that mortgage derivatives thing, but trust us on this one."

Given that CNBC is going to be "all downgrade all the time", I reached out to folks on Twitter for alternative words or phrases to replace "downgrade". It gets boring saying the same word over and over (see "capitulation" last Thursday).

I got a lot of replies, some not printable. Here are a few worthy suggestions.

  • "We got Greeced"--@tdkme
  • "Inverted upgrade"--@Winosrus
  • "Negatively elevated"--@MarkKahook
  • "D-listed"--@MelissaD1
  • "Not Winning"--@Mohacksjp
  • "Value challenged"--@EurolnSC
  • "The Fredo Corleone of sov debt"--from our own @JeffCoxCNBCcom
  • "S&P to US: 'I will cut you!'"--from former colleague @MikeHuckman
  • "US downgraded from Hamlet to Horatio with negative Guildenstern watch (sorry, I'm watching Hamlet)--@thomasgfarrellj
  • "S&P has placed a 'Pitchy Dawg' rating on long term US Treasury Debt"--@TheAcsMan
  • "Donkey punched, Dirty sanchez'd, Rusty tromboned"--@TitzenAssetMgmt
  • "Deuce drop"--@TroyHickok
  • "Unfollow"--@AileenMarkowsky
  • "Put in a time out"--@MattKelmon
  • "Un-friended"--by Fast Money's @PattyEdwards
  • "Type O Negative" (get it?)--@McFreeLV
  • "Kardashianed"--@EmilyTVproducer
  • "US debt has gone from Rory McIlroy to Tiger Woods"--@TimBiegler
  • And perhaps the best one of all: "We've gone from Moe to Larry"--@clubjk

Not Funny: Slideshow: What Happens If the US Is Downgraded?