Funny Business with Jane Wells

I Don't Have What it Takes to be A Victoria's Secrets Model

If you think Victoria's Secret models were just born that way, well...

You're right.

But they also work really hard to look like that. Really hard. Too hard for me.

Photo: AFP | Getty Images

In the funny business of lingerie modeling, supermodel Adriana Lima revealed her regimengoing into the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show shot this week in New York.

It'll air on Nov. 29 on CBS.

First, Lima tells the Telegraph that she's been working out with a personal trainer every day since August.

"For the last three weeks, she's been working out twice a day."

That's understandable.

Lima's like an athlete preparing for a marathon, or an actor like Anne Hathaway trying to fit into a Catwoman costume. It takes intense, targeted exercise to walk around with almost nothing on and look fantastic.

"I jump rope, I do boxing, I lift weights," Lima says. You do boxing? Really? Seems a tad risky considering your flawless body is your bread and butter.

But that's not the hardest part.

The hardest part (for me) in Lima's diet. She reportedly sees a nutritionist "who has measured her body's muscle mass, fat ratio and levels of water retention." Lima drinks protein shakes along with vitamins and supplements to keep her energy up during training, and she drinks a gallon of water a day.

And then...nine days before the show, which would have been Halloween, she started drinking only protein shakes. No solid food. No treats, just tricks.

Two days before the show—this past Monday—she reduced the amount of water she drinks.

Twelve hours before the show taped, Lima stops drinking entirely. "No liquids at all so you dry out, sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that," she tells the Telegraph.

Eight pounds in 12 hours on a woman who probably only weighs 110 pounds, max? REALLY?

Well, you can't argue with the results. Lima says, "The Victoria's Secret show is the highlight of my life." I certainly hope so, considering the sacrifices she made to get there.

Could I make those same sacrifices, even if I was blessed with the basics needed to be a supermodel?

Let's see. Make a lot of money, be gorgeous, famous, and married to a hot Serbian basketball player...or eat.

I choose food.

I'll probably watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show later this month while dining on the last leftovers of a delicious Thanksgiving dinner from the week before. I'll both admire Lima's beauty and determination, but, probably like her mother back in Brazil, I'll mutter to the television, "Get that poor girl a sandwich...and a drink of water."

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