Funny Business with Jane Wells

Funniest Homeland Security Headline - Ever


Airport security officials see a lot of things show up in our luggage.

Spear guns and tear gas grenades.



Luggage containing Tadalafil
Source: Dept. of Homeland Security

Well, not exactly.

The Department of Homeland Security reports that Customs agents discovered a whole lot of Cialis trying to leave the country.

Cialis is the drug men use when they want to end up separated from their wives in different bathtubs out in a forest.

The DHS press release headline blared, "63 Pounds of Erectile Dysfunction Chemical Found in Passenger's Luggage at LAX".

Insert joke here.

The actual chemical is tadalafil, the scientific name for Cialis, made by Lilly . Agents say they made the discovery during a second inspection of two carry on bags being brought through the international terminal by a man described as a 40-year-old Korean national. Officers noticed "several heat sealed pouches containing a white powdery substance. The passenger claimed the powder was a Chinese herb."

Pouches contailing Tadalafil
Source: Dept. of Homeland Security

You know what they say about those herbal remedies. They can be pretty potent.

However, lab results indicate the powder wasn’t herbal but chemical, and you can’t move tadalafil out of state without an approved application, which the guy allegedly didn't have.

Ok, so he wasn’t some cocaine mule. He wasn’t packing explosive underwear. No, he was just walking around with 63 pounds of hope. Sixty. Three. Pounds.

As @D_Alpher quipped on Twitter, "For flight delays lasting more than four hours..."


Just in time for the South Carolina primary! Political toilet paper! One roll bears the likeness of the GOP elephant, the other has the Democratic donkey. "Maybe it's time we just wipe away our differences," is the tag line. What more practical way to do that?

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