As a professional matchmaker with an office in New York City, many of my clients are very successful, high profile Wall Street men.
I have spent the better part of 12 years learning all of their habits, their likes and dislikes when it comes to dating, women and relationships and what they want specifically from me, when I am matching them with women.
Hence, I know, better than anyone, what makes Wall Street men tick.
Here are a few tips for the women out there who are dating or would like to be dating a man on Wall Street:
1. Be prepared to charm him out of talking about work when he first arrives to the date. Unfortunately, a lot of guys on Wall Street have a hard time leaving work at the office; it’s your job to get his mind on you and off the S & P.
2. Learn a little something about the financial markets and notice if something huge happens on a given day, negative or positive. Things like the fact that Facebook is going public is not just financial news, it’s world news and you don’t want to seem clueless if you completely missed something like that. You don’t have to become an expert but at least if you know something you can participate in a conversation with your guy. Additionally, you need to be prepared that the volatility of the markets might make your guy’s mood unpredictable, especially on a day that his personal portfolio went down dramatically.
3. While a Wall Street man tends to like a little bit of a challenge when it comes to dating, he still likes things to be convenient and easy for him. A lot of women think that if they play hard to get, they will land a Wall Street man. This is NOT the case. Yes, you should be confident and avoid being a pushover but, at the same time, you shouldn’t be difficult. You need to be accommodating or his schedule and time constraints or he will get frustrated and find another woman.
4. Tell stories that are short and sweet because the mind of a Wall Street man is always moving so rapidly and focusing on so many different things that his attention span for social stories is very short; don’t be insulted by this, just tell your stories in a way that he can listen. Save your long, draw-out stories for chit-chatting with your girlfriends.
5. Be sexy. Wall Street men tend to like women who are attractive and that other men notice when they walk in the room. This does not mean that you should look sleazy or inappropriate, this just means that you should bring your “A game” when you go out with him, whatever that is. Every man is attracted to a different look and a different type of woman so if he’s interested in you, he’s attracted to you but you need to maintain his interest by continuing to look your best.
6. Don’t get upset if he checks his BlackBerry or takes a call during a date; this is very common of a Wall Street man and has nothing to do with whether or not he likes you. The advice that I give Wall Street men about their need to bring business onto the date is that they should forewarn you when they first sit down that a call or a message is coming and apologize in advance. Albeit the fact that this would be an easy thing to do, they won’t always remember to do it, so don’t get offended.
7. Don’t get upset if your Wall Street guy isn’t as romantic as you would like him to be. Men, by nature are never as romantic as women want them to be, but Wall Street men especially are very business-like and think practically not romantically. If you want him to be more romantic, you are probably going to have to lead the way, and teach him what you want.
8. Wall Street men tend to be attracted to women who are in industries other than Wall Street. This does not mean that if you work on Wall Street, you won’t end up with a Wall Street man, however his eye tends to be looking towards non-Wall Street women. Hence, if you are a Wall Street woman and you are interested in dating a Wall Street man, you need to make sure that you let him and others see that you are not all business all the time, that you have a soft, feminine, family-oriented and fun side when you are not in the office.
9. When it comes to getting you a gift, a lot of Wall Street men are all about extravagance over thoughtfulness. If you are a decadent woman, this will work well for you, but if you are a woman who prefers a man to be thoughtful over spending lavishly on something you don’t really want, you might be disappointed. This does not mean that a Wall Street man can’t be thoughtful, many are. However, a lot of Wall Street men are so busy making lots of money, that when they think to buy you something, they don’t care about the cost as long as it’s easy to get for you.
10. Don’t get upset if your plans get scheduled by his assistant. Even though, it is dating 101 for a man to pick up the phone and call you for a date or in this day and age to text you for one, many Wall Street men are so reliant on their assistants that they prefer to have you on their schedule just like a business meeting. Do not take offense to this; this does not mean that he likes you all the less, it just means that he likes to be organized and efficient and his assistant helps him accomplish this.
Samantha Daniels owns a bicoastal matchmaking service called Samantha's Table. She is ivy league educated and a former divorce attorney by trade. She is frequently relied upon dating, relationship and romance expert, and is seen regularly on television, in national newspapers and magazines and on radio. She has been a national spokesperson for a number of consumer brands including Crest, Oral B and Febreze. She was also the inspiration for and a producer on the NBC/Darren Star dramedy, Miss Match starring Alicia Silverstone, the show was based on her life story. She is the author of the book, Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).