Funny Business with Jane Wells

Invisible Obama, Cow Chips and the Ultimate Bloody Mary


Happy Friday! Happy three-day weekend!

Three stories to ponder while you have one final backyard BBQ.


First, Americans are quick. We don't mess around. After Clint Eastwood referred to an empty chair as President Obama, the parodies began faster than a bullet from Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum. First there was the instant Twitter phenom of @InvisibleObama, which, at last count, was up to 48,000 followers.

The speech spawned a new "Hope" campaign poster. (Maybe it can replace the faded one in your childhood bedroom?)

It started a whole new trend called "Eastwooding," where people snap photos of people pointing at empty chairs.

And, this being a country fueled by capitalism and free markets, someone is claiming to be selling the empty chair on eBay . "Own a piece of history that tells Romney to go %^&# himself," said the seller, identified as "cloverlilly".

This also being a country of people who aren't complete idiots, no one has bid on the alleged chair. Yet.

Is your head spinning yet? Get ready for it to do another 360.

My second item for Friday is perhaps the most unexpected result of this summer's historic drought. In Sauk City, Wisconsin, they are suffering from a devastating shortage of ... cow pies.

According to the Associated Press, supplies are down substantially for the annual Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw and Festival. The event kicks off Friday and is expected to attract about 40,000 people and "300 throwers." Organizer Mariette Reuter said, "This is my 24th throw, and it's never been this difficult to find chips."

How does the drought impact cow manure? The chips are made from cattle which eat mostly grass, and because of the drought, there hasn't been much grass. Apparently corn-fed beef doesn't make for championship chips. Fortunately, festival organizers have some old cow pies in reserve for just such emergencies, but it may not be enough. Not any pie will do. "If it's thick and solid and grassy, it's a good chip."

Source: The Nook

Finally, if empty chairs and a dearth of cow chips have you feeling we are living in end times, relax this Labor Day Weekend with what's called the "Bloody Best" Bloody Mary.

If the economy and drought don’t kill you, this will. Sold at The Nook, in Atlanta, this oversized hangover cure is described as a "ridiculously awesome breakfast tomato juice vodka cocktail", overloaded with bacon, eggs, tater tots, steak bits, blue-cheese-stuffed olives and "slurped down with a meat straw."

As one friend said, "You had me at meat straw."

—By CNBC's Jane Wells

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