Funny Business with Jane Wells

Finding a Storm Named Nemo

Kelvin Ma | Bloomberg | Getty Images

Nemo? Really? Why do the worst storms have wimpiest names? Sandy … Katrina …

Sandy and Katrina were names given by the National Weather Service for tropical storms and hurricanes. The NOAA does not name winter storms.

(Read More: 'Dangerous' Snowstorm Nemo Finds the Northeast.)

So Nemo comes from our sister network, The Weather Channel, which started naming winter storms last year to highlight awareness, and perhaps boost ratings. It's a fun marketing move.

(Click here for TWC's complete list of winter storm names.)

It includes names like Khan, Q, and Yogi—a storm that ain't over til it's over. There's also Gandolf. Which should be spelled Gandalf (sounds like TWC's storm-naming committee has been having a little too much fun on Tequila Fridays).

Meteorologist Bryan Norcross told the New York Times that Nemo wasn't named after the Walt Disney character. The name was chosen for its Latin meaning, "no one" or "no man," and because Captain Nemo "was a pretty tough, fierce guy."

Okay, but the rest of the world thinks Nemo is a timid fish with a small fin who is too afraid to leave home. If only that was true of this storm! Nemo is hardly a name that strikes fear in people lining up at Home Depot to buy plywood. A better name might be Nimrod. Or Dori, Nemo's friend. "Maybe she'll forget to happen," tweeted @enlighndrogue.

(Read More: Storm Nemo Pushes Fuel Prices to 2013 Highs.)

If this is the road we're going down while stocking on up batteries and praying for safety, perhaps one way to lighten the mood is to do an entire Hollywood makeover of the storm list. Why not sell naming rights as a revenue stream for studios, "like stadiums do," suggests @HeyDatsMe? Think of the merchandising tie-ins for these potential blizzards.





Tasmanian Devil


Sponge Bob

Honey Boo Boo

Chuck Norris

Jon Snow ("Winter is coming.")

Mr. Burns


Jar Jar (Worst. Storm. Ever.)

And the most accurate name of all: Snow White.

Thanks to suggestions from @kem312, @enlightndrogue, @AlphaBetaBanjo, @j2lovesfriday, @grizvacation, @a99kitten, @CRiBlack, @TheArmoTrader, @Peterj1725, and @mhenderson33.

—By CNBC's Jane Wells; Follow her on Twitter: @janewells