Funny Business with Jane Wells

Q&A: 'I'd rather ______ than shop on Thanksgiving'

Stan Honda | AFP | Getty Images

So Black Friday has become Thankshopping Thursday.

Bah humbug.

The National Retail Federation predicts 33 million people will shop on Thanksgiving, either in stores or online.

Who are you people?

I asked folks on Twitter, "Fill in the blank: 'I'd rather ______ than shop on Thanksgiving.'"

The answers were hilarious. Here are a few I can print.

"I'd rather smoke crystal meth." (@VinceintheBay)

"Lay my tongue on the counter and have you hit it with a hammer." (@paulgowen)

(Read more from CNBC: Eight tips to help you stick to your holiday budget)

"Prancercise." (@ElviraLumpcoal)

"Remove my tattoo with molten cranberry sauce." (@LanceRancid)

"Visit my in-laws." (@IvanTheK)

"Format my hard drive." (@oaul_kramarchyk)

"Spend hours trying to access the website." (@MandysMounds)

"Sit through an entire season of Cubs baseball." (@weedgirl24)

(Read more from CNBC: Gifts to make sports lovers cheer)

"Judge a retirement home twerking contest." (@natsound)

Holiday storm vs. holiday shoppers
Holiday storm vs. holiday shoppers

"Watch a Hannah Montana marathon on the Disney Channel." (@DonCarrMAC)

"Listen to my drunken tone deaf relatives sing holiday songs." (@FMvinnie)

"Volunteer as a tribute for 'The Hunger Games.'" (@j2lovesfriday)

"Be the Thanksgiving turkey." (@Upbeatinvesting)

Not sure the turkey would agree. He'd love you to go shopping.

—By CNBC's Jane Wells; Follow her on Twitter: @janewells