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Joe, Becky and Andrew 'Dilbert-ized' by comic creator

Talking Squawk, the official "Squawk Box" blog, provides tidbits, insights and some sarcastic reflections on the WEEK THAT WAS and the WEEK TO COME from the notepad of the show's senior executive producer.

'Dilbert's' view of success

"Dilbert" comes to CNBC

We here at "Squawk Box" would never make fun of CNBC management. But in the world of "Dilbert," anybody is fair game. So we were understandably nervous when we knew Dilbert's mastermind, Scott Adams, was coming to the set this week.

Turns out, he was just here to sell his book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of theStory of My Life."

But the real cool part is he came prepared with custom "Dilbert-ized" characters of hosts Joe Kernen, Becky Quick and Andrew Ross Sorkin.

Here's the strange story behind Adams and how he keeps failing at business ventures, which allows him to gather more content for his "Dilbert" comic strip, which then earns him more money to start even more new businesses that he can fail at, which gives him even more content! That's one messed up business model, but, hey, whatever works!

Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis.
Getty Images

Bipartisan budget

Finally, two people in Washington who figured out how to sit down with someone from the other side and get SOMETHING done!

House Budget Chairman Paul Ryan, a longtime friend of "Squawk Box," came on the show Thursday to sell the budget framework he worked out with Senate Budget Chair Patty Murray, D-Wash.

Ken Langone and Steny Hoyer discuss Congress on "Squawk Box."
Adam Jeffery | CNBC

Langone vs. Hoyer

One of the goals on "Squawk Box" has always been to bring powerful, smart people together in the name of a higher form of discourse on television.

(Of course we also fill the show with jokes, banter and a general theme of sophomoric humor at best. But can you try to forget that part for just a minute and roll with me here?)

So back to the smart people stuff.

Home Depot co-founder Ken Langone kind of went off Tuesday on House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer during a heated debate over Washington's bitter politics.

Meet Ryan Seacrest's nerdy older brother

The Squawking Dead

OK, we had Chris Hardwick, the host of "the Talking Dead," on the show. And again, just for the record, we see no similarities between the name "Talking Dead" and this blog, "Talking Squawk." It's either pure coincidence or they stole our idea!

Hardwick also is the host of "@midnight" on Comedy Central, which is way too young and hip for most of us. But that won't stop us from booking him on our show in a lame attempt to get his hoards of young fans to come and watch us!

Tom Lee, Market Master

Tom Lee is our show's secret Market Master. He's the perfect combo for us. No 1., he's been right. No 2., he's very humble and gracious about it.

With that said, check out his views on why he thinks investors are finally comfortable with the idea of the Fed tapering, and his outlook for stocks in 2014.

Deep thoughts by 'Squawk Box'

Andrew wondered what a downward facing dog was. Joe wondered if a downward facing dog and a downward dog were the same thing. Becky wondered why she puts herself through this everyday.

'Squawkward Moments'

Andrew: "Welcome back to Squawk Box. The new American Airlines begins trading today on the Nasdaq under the 'Tickle' AAL."

Joe: "Tickle under the what?"

Dell CEO Michael Dell
Getty Images

Dude, we talked to Michael Dell

Michael Dell wants more dudes to start getting a Dell again. At one time, long ago, it was the biggest name in PCs. But now that the company is private again, Dell is back in charge and committed to remaking the business he founded.

"We've been growing at double-digit rates," Dell told us Thursday. "Black Friday sell-through week was up 30 percent year over year."

Quirky gifts for the holiday

Quirky gifts

Ever had a really good idea? No? OK, let me rephrase that. Let's say one day in the future you're sitting on the couch and you suddenly have an epiphany about how to make your remote control better by designing a clear plastic waterproof sweater that slips over the remote control so the beer you spill while watching the Jets lose won't slip into the seams between the buttons and short circuit the device.

The beer-proof remote control sweater-vest.

In the past, this brilliant epiphany of yours may have simply died among the sofa cushions and come to rest with the sticky broken remote control. But now, there's Quirky, where any stupid idea could be one that makes you rich! Find out how it works.

Morning Squawk

We now have a weekday morning newsletter named, appropriately enough, Morning Squawk!

All you have to do to get it for FREE is enter your email address in the box above or go to the "Squawk Box" show page. You'll get Morning Squawk in your inbox around 6 a.m. ET, Monday through Friday.

Earnings on tap

I wanna dance!

News only "Squawk Box" can bring you. He's back! Dancing Officer Tony Lepore has been a holiday tradition in downtown Providence, R.I., for almost 30 years. He tried to retire, but his fans and the city won't let him. Watch him go!

Hair Nation (courtesy Director @PaulDefabo and Technical Director @Keith_Falcone)

Could Joe have sat down with Murray and worked out a budget deal?

(Let's just hope Ryan doesn't see this!)

Must follow them @

@AMCTalkingDead host Chris Hardwick is a Twitter god. His personal handle @nerdist has 2 million followers. And his other show "@midnight" on @ComedyCentral—yep, the show name and the handle are the same. It leads three celebrity contestants down the ultimate Internet wormhole! Check out @benkaufman and his firm @quirky and "Dilbert" creator Scott Adams at @Dilbert_Daily.

Just for the record

Becky's official states "lived in" list is (in order): Indiana, Ohio, back to Indiana, then to Texas and Oklahoma, back to Indiana, to New jersey, to New York back to New Jersey. Got it?

Overheard on the set

Anchor 1: "So what's the deal with electronic cigarettes? I read a bunch of articles about them while on vacation in Jamaica."

Anchor 2: "You were on vacation on a beach in Jamaica, and you spent your time reading articles about electronic cigarettes?"

Magic Hat

Ever wonder how the magic is made on the show? It's simple, Senior Producer @RobContino puts his thinking cap on while the anchors stand behind in amazement.

Word Jumble

Joe and Becky's long-running Word Jumble grudge match continued this week with Joe winning three times and Becky winning once. Here is Joe's bonus word: NRHECF. Here is Becky's word: TROPSE. Find the answers at the end.

Mark your calendar (or set your DVR)

  • Monday: Greg Flemming, president of Morgan Stanley Wealth Management, and AIG CEO Robert Benmosche.
  • Tuesday: Professor Jeremy Siegel of the Wharton School and Jim Grant of the Grant Interest Rate Observer newsletter
  • Wednesday: Oscar Schafer, chairman of Rivulet Capital
  • Thursday: Fix the Debt guys Erskine Bowles and Judd Gregg
  • Friday: Jason Trennert of Strategas Research and AthenaHealth CEO Jonathan Bush

Next week's economic calendar (all 8:30 a.m. ET)

  • Monday: Productivity & Costs
  • Tuesday: Consumer Price Index
  • Wednesday: Housing Starts and Building Permits
  • Thursday: Weekly Jobless Claims
  • Friday: GDP and Quadruple Witching

The Corny-Sappy Motivational Business-Based Inspirational Quote

"The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights."
—J. Paul Getty

—By CNBC's Matthew Quayle. Follow him on Twitter @matthew_quayle.

*Joe's Jumble bonus word answer: NRHECF=French

*Becky's Jumble bonus word answer: TROPSE=Presto