Funny Business with Jane Wells

Cold, hard business lessons from a Girl Scout


You think selling Girl Scout cookies is easy? Well, of course it's easy. They're delicious.

But selling more than 21,000 boxes? That's an art. The Art of War, by Sun Tzu, apparently.

In a hilarious parody video created by Mashable, the very real 12-year-old Katie Francis of Oklahoma City reveals her strategy for selling the most cookies in Girl Scout history.

The video starts sweetly enough, as the sixth-grader announces that she recently broke the old record "by selling 21,477 boxes of Girl Scout cookies." Her secret?

Play hardball.

"First of all, cut the Do-si-dos and wake up!" she says.

Katie explains that the business world "is cut-throat, if you can't get your head in the game, you're going to lose." She goes on to advise that successful deal closers need to know their competition, "and be ready to take them down at a moment's notice."

Read MoreGirl Scouts: Big business for little cookies

Wow. Make new friends, and kill the old! One is silver, and the other is … better off dead.

Getty Images

Katie first made headlines last month when she broke the record by "a margin about the size of a Thin Mint." In those original, straight news stories, she was her true self: a sweet young lady who likes to sing about cookies to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." She told The Oklahoman "there were only three ingredients needed to rack up large sales: a lot of time, a lot of commitment and asking everyone she met to buy."

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Hold on! Mashable "reveals" there's a fourth ingredient to success—making grown men cry! (That's my favorite part of the parody video. Bravo.)

Katie Francis is so self-assured, so successful, such a go-getter, she doesn't need any stinking equal-pay-for-equal-work bill to protect her.

By the way, she's still selling cookies. Like some freckle-faced cookie monster, this kid won't quit until you do.

—By CNBC's Jane Wells.