Mateo's experience reflects many of the voices in "Don't Call Them Dropouts," a new report released Tuesday by America's Promise Alliance, based on research conducted by the Center for Promise at Tufts University. Culled from in-depth interviews with 200 young people and nationwide surveys from 2,000 people ages 18-25, the study is the largest of its kind about teens who don't earn a high school diploma—about 20 percent of kids who enter high school.
The study found that young people leave school not because of a single event but due to a confluence of factors, including a violent home life, an incarcerated parent, or homelessness. Sixty-six percent of these young people experienced from three to 12 of these challenges, with almost one-quarter experiencing at least six.
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Jonathan Zaff, executive director of the Center for Promise, said the problem isn't that these kids lack grit—it's that they become overwhelmed and often find themselves without support. If there was one predictive question, he said, it was, "Is there an adult in your community you can turn to for help?"
"If the answer was no, [the young person] was much more at risk," said Zaff. "It's crucial to have several adults in their lives who can guide them and support them and have expectations for them."
A particularly heartbreaking pattern: Before dropping out, many of these teens reached out to the adults around them only to feel let down and disillusioned by the experience. Mateo says he felt like his counselor "was listening but not really listening." This feeling extends to parents: The survey found that only 55 percent feel their parents actually care for them.
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Many kids "are reaching and trying and sometimes they're getting the door closed on them, literally and figuratively," Zaff said. And even if the adults are responsive, many give up too soon: "The assumption is if we reach out to them, and they don't immediately accept our help, then it's their fault they didn't finish high school."
Jennifer Silva, author of Coming Up Short, a book about working class young adults, said many teens at risk of dropping out learn at an early age to only count on themselves.
"Everyone grows up thinking school is where you're supposed to succeed," said Silva. "So when high school becomes a site of betrayal and bewilderment, it makes them feel like, 'I shouldn't depend on anyone.'"
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During her research, Silva found that seemingly minor things—not being sure where the guidance counselor's office was, not knowing which hotline to call—can frustrate and derail young people who are in need of support.
"It's these step-by-step processes that seem really obvious if you're middle class," she said.
And there are the teens who feel too ashamed to reach out. When Kasandra Vega went from her neighborhood school to a private Catholic high school, the transition was "academically overwhelming," said Vega, now 22. Her grades began slipping and she started drinking and smoking. Yet she didn't approach any teachers for help, and didn't want to burden her mom. "I felt embarrassed I didn't understand the coursework," she said. "[The teachers] had high standards, and they didn't expect anybody to fail."
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When she found out she was pregnant at 16, she retreated from school even more. "I felt like I'd let everybody down," she said. "It seemed like the best thing was to sit back and say, 'OK, I have to leave.'"
Once struggling teens conclude that the adults in their lives are of no use to them, they tend to seek connection in far less productive ways, the study found. They'll join gangs, for example.