The drooling investors were out on Monday, circling back to stocks that were buried among bad news last week and didn't receive the attention they deserved. Heads have now turned to the winners and losers of the quarter. The market leaders on Monday were two polar opposites: Apple the great innovator, and IBM the old-school techie company that is getting swept away in the cloud.
The good news is that despite the size of IBM's $166 billion prominent stake in the Dow Jones industrial average (.DJI), the index barely blinked and still finished up 19 points. Cramer added that just because Apple smashed quarterly earnings, he doesn't think this stock should be traded. He hopes investors are in it for the long run.
"We all know about Apple, which blew away the numbers when it reported on Monday. I've said over and over again that Apple should not be traded, just owned. I feel no different now."
Apple reported higher than expected revenues, with 39.3 million iPhones sold making it the best iPhone launch quarter in five years. Even better, the management gave upside guidance for next quarter.
"This is why we don't flit in and out of Apple, we just own the darned thing and watch it go higher long-term," added Cramer.
So how in the world did IBM get crushed so badly?
Cramer thinks that this comes down to the fact that technology, as IBM sees it, is no longer the tech that companies are looking for. They are fleeing from IBM's expensive one-stop software into less expensive cloud-based software. IBM's loss is becoming Apple's gain.
Read MoreCramer: IBM's misery is Apple's win
Speaking of horrendous technology stocks, Cramer thinks it is time to talk about the most hideous IPO in recent memory. He considers it to be a truly untouchable stock, something that no one would want to own.
King Digital (KING), the mobile game developer behind such games as Candy Crush, is considered by many to be the most disappointing and overhyped deal of the year.
Since King went public, it has been crushed. When it debuted on March 25, it traded at $22.50 per share, and it now trades at about $11 per share.
"I say they should rename the thing Pawn Digital, and you need to move on before they unleash the selling hounds," added Cramer.