×

Cramer Remix: Know this about beer takeovers

Jim Cramer considered the rally on Wednesday to be a celebration of investors anticipating that the Federal Reserve will do nothing on Thursday—and it could be premature.

"Sometimes, when I hear about this endless parlor game of will they raise or won't they, I feel like we have to step back and talk about what we're really about, our core DNA here on 'Mad Money,' which is evaluating companies as potential investments," the "Mad Money" host said.

Cramer wants investors who have saved for retirement and are ready to invest to look for opportunities to buy shares in companies at prices they like.

Thursday could be one of those opportunities.

So here is Cramer's game plan:
If the Fed raises rates without a statement of reassurance that it is done raising rates, do not take the bait of the first sell. In fact, Cramer doesn't think he would even take action on Friday considering the amount of hot money that is betting that the Fed will not raise rates. Selling could be heavy.

If things get really ugly on Friday or Monday, Cramer wants investors to beware that various sectors will take a nosedive. Beware that they may continue to downslide with the market.

Read MoreCramer: Stocks to buy in a Fed induced selloff

Janet Yellen
Kevin Lamarque | Reuters
Janet Yellen

In the past, when Cramer always knew that he could turn to the merchants-of-vice companies when navigating an uncertain environment. It's really hard to get more uncertain than the current landscape with a possible rate hike looming, potential for another government shutdown and a real chance of a worldwide recession.

The category of vice stocks stem from humanity's lowest impulses like drinking, smoking and, to a lesser extent, gambling. Many investors have had the theory that just when the economy heading downward, that was the time to load up on tobacco and alcohol stocks as they would deliver recession-proof numbers.

"While vice in general is always going to be popular, the market still demands growth and many of the stocks on the vice menu have found themselves growth challenged for a variety of reasons," Cramer said.

Ultimately, even with the talks of red-hot takeovers in the beer category, Cramer cannot recommend vice stocks at the current levels. Especially as they are desperately in need of margin expansion. The best way to do that is to merge with a competitor and cut costs, and there is just too much work to be done in this environment.

This week, Cramer is in San Francisco for Dreamforce, a conference hosted by Salesforce.com that is widely regarded to be the annual mecca for all things related to cloud computing.

Salesforce is on track to become the fastest enterprise software company to reach $7 billion in revenue by the end of 2015. Not to mention, it practically invented the cloud.

However, when Cramer spoke with Salesforce Chairman and CEO Marc Benioff on Wednesday, the "King of Cloud" emphasized that the company is not just about the cloud.

"This isn't about the cloud, Jim, and it never was about the cloud. It's about the customer," Benioff said. (Tweet this)

Read MoreKing of Cloud to Cramer: CRM isn't about the cloud

Unicorn
CoreyFord | Getty Images

Cramer also kept hearing about these fantastic "billion-dollar unicorn" companies at Dreamforce that are disrupting technology industry and waiting in the initial public offering wings. And while they may have sexy products and sky-high valuations, these unicorns scare the heck out of him.

"I am more afraid of being hit by a speeding fastball of money being tossed at a start-up than I am of anything the Giants can throw at the mound," the "Mad Money" host said.

Cramer sees the same investors over and over again screaming hot, hot, hot over these prospective public companies. But he wondered, hot to whom?

So while Cramer may not be a technology expert to determine the winners or losers at Dreamforce, he does know one thing that many do not know at the conference.

"I know the stock market, and I can tell you that this stock market is uniquely inhospitable to pretty much every single unicorn out there with only a couple of exceptions," Cramer said. (Tweet This)

Read More Cramer: Billion-dollar unicorn start-ups—beware!

Cramer also thought that with Dreamforce in full action this week, it is worth remembering that the sexiest technology stocks sometimes aren't the best to invest in. Sometimes it is best to stick with a survivor that knows how to reinvent itself, like Cisco Systems.

The networking giant has been working to move into various higher-growth areas, such as the internet of things and cybersecurity, while still providing shareholders with a 3.2 percent yield.

With the stock on a pullback recently, Cramer wondered if this could be a gift for shareholders or if they should worry about how the company will fare in a worldwide slowdown.

To find out more, the "Mad Money" host spoke with Cisco CEO Chuck Robbins, who commented on the rapid change of the technology industry and need for Cisco to partner with companies, such as its recent partnership with Apple.

"When you think about where we are, the pace of change in this business is unprecedented…Now you've got geopolitical dynamics, and you've got rapid economic transitions. And the pace of the technology change in our customer's expectations of us are going to require for us to partner, because we can't do it all alone," Robbins said.

In the Lightning Round, Cramer gave his take on a few caller-favorite stocks:

Starbucks: "My charitable trust owns a ton of it, [CEO] Howard Schultz is doing an amazing job. I like the new mobile payment situation. It is good to buy right here."

HSBC Holdings: "It's too hard for me! We've got to go with Wells Fargo. My charitable trust does that. We've got to keep it simple, right?"

Read MoreLightning Round: Time to buy this stalled stock