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In Jim Cramer's opinion, one would have to move heaven and Earth to create a more horrible portfolio than that of Third Avenue Focused Credit fund.
Third Avenue is the mutual fund that barred redemptions last week, prompting serious turmoil — and total hysteria for some investors — in the high-yield bond market.
There were two main events in the Third Avenue story that caused the turmoil to occur. First was the unprecedented decision by David Barse, the former CEO of Third Avenue, to stop redemptions of the mutual fund without even consulting the SEC.
This move shocked Cramer, because a mutual fund is not like a hedge fund with special lockup rules. When someone invests in a mutual fund, there is the notion that there is a posted price of what the fund is worth and that they will be able to redeem their shares and get a price when they choose. There are rules behind these things, and they must be followed.
"To me, this unilateral decision to cease redemptions on the spot is tantamount to a repudiation of the laws set up to protect investors in these kinds of vehicles. I don't know how the authorities can overlook this move," the "Mad Money" host said.
The second side of the shocking Third Avenue story was the junk that the fund bought. Cramer went through all of its hideous assets over the weekend and found that the vehicle was reminiscent of the funds put together in the peak of the junk housing credit boom in 2007.
"Put simply, Third Avenue Focused Credit was a collection of the worst pieces of garbage under one roof that I have ever seen," Cramer said.
Even though the averages haven't done that badly lately, Cramer still wanted to know why the market feels so bad these days. Should investors take a negative standpoint on stocks right now?
Cramer attributed some of the negative sentiment first to those who look at stocks only through the prism of what could happen with the Federal Reserve. Every day someone is guessing what the Fed will do, and with the meeting around the corner, it has monopolized many peoples' minds.
But the stock market has been rough because anyone who follows individual sectors knows that things aren't so hot right now, and that is producing confusion. How could a cooling economy produce more jobs? Because the job number is reflective of the past, not the future.
Ultimately, this market feels bad because many of the companies in it aren't doing that well, and the few that are in good shape seem to be unsustainably high.
"If you aren't at least a tad cautious in this environment, then I think you are being arrogant or clueless or both," Cramer said. (Tweet This)
Monday also brought confirmation of last week's M&A rumor when Newell Rubbermaid announced that it is buying Jarden for $15.4 billion and will create a consumer goods powerhouse called Newell Brands.
However Newell Rubbermaid's stock was slammed, down 10 percent on Monday, because it is issuing a lot of stock to pay for Jarden. However, Cramer thinks the deal makes a lot of sense and would be a buyer of Newell into weakness.
To learn more, Cramer spoke with Newell Rubbermaid CEO Michael Polk and the founder and chairman of Jarden, Martin Franklin.
"I prefer to think of it as through scale we will be able to lead better the development of the categories through our retail partners. That strategically is the ambition we would set in where we hope to leverage scale. Through collaboration with retailers to increase the growth rate in our categories and profitability in our categories across the total enterprise," Polk said.
Oil is once again running the show for the market, even if it shouldn't be. That is why Cramer took the opportunity to watch just how much it controls stocks early on Monday morning, and he was shocked at how insanely powerful it was.
When Cramer drilled down, he found that only 16 states derive some income from oil and gas. Of those, only nine are truly impacted by lower oil prices that could be threatening.
Regardless of the fact that oil should not be controlling S&P futures, the fact is that the insanity of the linkage can drive stocks crazy. Does it really make sense that a stock like Alphabet went to $762 from $736 just because oil reversed its downward trajectory?
"Of course not. That is why I keep saying we are in crazy town. Until this linkage is snapped, we are only going to be able to make money on the long side if something nasty happens to the supply of oil. The demand can't take us back up," Cramer said.
One day Cramer thinks the market will escape crazy town, and it will be monumental. It just hasn't happened, yet.
Last week Lululemon, the popular purveyor of yoga pants, reported a suboptimal quarter and the stock was taken to the woodshed. Based on that action, Cramer would have expected that Lululemon a totally unredeemable quarter.
"But I've got to tell you, I find myself wondering if Lululemon's results were really that horrendous," Cramer said.
Sure, the company missed top and bottom line estimates. But it also delivered a stunning 9 percent increase in same-store sales, at a time when retailers are struggling.
However, after digging a little deeper, Cramer found that most of the upside on this stock is based on Lululemon as a potential takeover candidate for a company like Nike or Under Armour. Otherwise if there were no expectation of a takeover, it would only be worth $36. Anything more than that can Cramer fears there could be high risk lousy reward action.
In the Lightning Round, Cramer gave his take on a few caller-favorite stocks:
Pep Boys: "I think Pep Boys is played out. I know that you can still get a little bit more, but that's not our style."
KeyCorp: "I think Key is really terrific. I still think that Key is great. If you think the Fed is going to raise rates like I do, that's a good one to be in."