Apple finally reported earnings on Thursday, and Jim Cramer heard only one question about the stock — how the heck should it be valued?
"That is the conundrum facing Apple, the greatest wealth creator of our generation," the "Mad Money" host said.
This is the same question that analysts are faced with four times a year when they are required to peer into the future and derive from the company's quarterly earnings report to provide investors advice on what the stock is really worth.
"And for my money, I think they are all blowing it," Cramer said. (Tweet This)
Analysts can adjust all the models, price targets and phone counts they want, but those inputs are only part of the story. As a result, they look at Apple as if it were the same as any other hardware company such as a Hewlett Packard, EMC or Intel.
The conclusion reached? That Apple owns the cellphone market as it currently exists, and now that it has forecast its first down year that means the cellphone business is saturated.
Cramer was tempted to resurface his "they know nothing" rant after hearing the Fed speak on Wednesday. He was hoping that a few boxes on his market bottom checklist might be checked off, but it seems that the bear market has not yet run its course.
"The Fed's wishy-washy statement on interest rates today left stocks sinking back into oblivion after a nice rally yesterday," the "Mad Money" host said.
The Fed managed to cause so much damage to stocks, Cramer decided to go down his checklist once again to reiterate what must happen before stocks will stop going down.
Cramer thought the Fed's statement was very hawkish, meaning that it thinks inflation could be a huge problem even though there has been a massive decline in oil prices and there hasn't been an increase in hiring.
"I think they will be proven wrong on both counts. Box not checked," Cramer said.
Read More Cramer: The Fed will be proven wrong
For once, the averages actually went down when the price of crude went up on Wednesday. But Cramer considers that to be the exception, not the rule, of the market.
Core Labs is known as the scientist of the oil patch, because the company uses technology to analyze rock fluids on oil reservoirs to help their clients find the best places and ways to drill. And even though the stock has fallen 60 percent from its all-time highs two years ago, the company has managed to remain profitable during the downturn.
The company reported on Wednesday and delivered in-line earnings with slightly higher than expected revenue. To learn more about what could be in store for Core Labs and the oil patch, Cramer spoke with its chairman and CEO, David Demshur.
"Our mission is to help our clients produce more oil and gas every day. But more importantly, to produce more oil and gas from the assets they have," Demshur said.
After hearing the very jarring forecast that Boeing gave on Wednesday, Cramer could only conclude that the aerospace group has peaked.
"That doesn't mean the companies involved in the space are necessarily dead," the "Mad Money" host said.
For example, United Technologies reported a solid quarter and Cramer was astonished with how strong its aircraft engine business was. That could be attributed the success to its new geared turbo fan.
Boeing represents America uniquely, but that doesn't mean the other parts makers do. United Technologies does a large amount of business with Airbus, which has some huge orders from Iran and has taken leadership in plane wins from Boeing.
Customers would need to buy dollars first before they buy planes from Boeing, and maybe they would rather buy an Airbus in debased euro before purchasing anything Boeing makes in dollars.
Read More Cramer: Has aerospace peaked? Or is it Boeing...
Another company that has been negatively impacted by the strong dollar is specialty chemical maker PPG Industries.
When PPG reported on Thursday last week, the company reported mixed earnings. Even as its sales came in slightly below expectations, they would have been up 7 percent on a constant currency basis. Unfortunately, Wall Street didn't seem to care about constant currency numbers anymore.
Cramer spoke with PPG CEO Michael McGarry to learn more about the impact of the economy and falling oil prices to the company's bottom line.
"Honestly, falling oil is both a positive and a negative. We are a supplier into the marine business; we are a supplier in the oil business. So, I'd rather be talking to our suppliers about innovation because innovation is what drives us," McGarry said.
In the Lightning Round, Cramer gave his take on a few caller favorite stocks:
Alcatel Lucent: "Alcatel Lucent is OK. It's not great. My charitable trust owns Cisco, which is really down on its luck. Gives you 3 percent yield and is a very strong company."
Sprint: "I'm not feeling the love. I've got to tell you, letter S — I think you can take the money and run after that upgrade yesterday."
Read More Lightning Round: Take the money and run